In praise of the unemotional non-eater.

This past weekend, during a gathering, in the course of absorbing and sieving through peripheral conversations, not overtly paying attention, but allowing my subconscious inner ear to filter out dialogue that “mattered” to me (not quite “eavesdropping”), I heard a woman repeat an old refrain: the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.

I didn’t join the conversation for I am not a joiner, especially in the realm of “small talk at parties,” but I’ve ruminated over that idea in the days since.

I thought of how “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach” might describe a good portion of males, but it fails to describe me.

I wonder if it frustrates people that I turn down offered food most of the time.

Food is the great connector, the social glue that binds our collective culture, especially in today’s gluttonous, foodie environment. I’ve turned down food enough times, and I am skinny enough of a runt, that people have given up trying to randomly feed me. And if I do take your food, I’m only doing so because I really want to taste it; you will assuredly curry no favor or good will from me on account of said food.

I like food. I like different tastes and textures, but it is only food. I am an unemotional non-eater.

I suspect this troubles some people who are used to manipulating others into a state of camaraderie and mutual adoration through the use of strategically placed goodies. If food is offered for free or laid out on a desk, watch out. The vultures sweep in. I usually can’t be found at such times, not because I’m resisting food, but because the importance and attraction of food fails to preclude my distaste for people and small talk.

Many men are in fact one-dimensional simpletons.

Dull-eyed sloths of little mind and little clarity. Base animals whose sole path to happiness is a tray of donuts or a monstrous triangle of pizza. Such men are pliable and predictable. And in fact, their hearts and minds are subject to commandeering by the properly motivated weekend baker. Many men are one-dimensional constructs and their predictability is comforting to others. People like me, men whose hearts are not subject to culinary barter, tend to thwart the narrative but this usually implies degrees of alienation that those who wantonly enjoy eating do not experience.

The battle for the path to my heart is occluded and mysterious and it’s easier to pass me by for the easily definable man than to solve me.

Hollywood’s version of Deep State just won’t shut up.

One of the entertainment industry’s predominant Establishment deep-staters is at it again with more anti-Trump haranguing.

Can’t these blowhards simply retire into obscurity and rail about their politics off the radar where no one can hear their tired tropes over, and over, and over, and over…

Robert De Niro is no stranger to voicing his dislike for President Donald Trump. Monday night was no different, as he called for the president to be impeached in a speech honoring Al Pacino at the American Icon Awards in Beverly Hills.

De Niro praised Pacino, his “lifelong compatriot,” alongside fellow honorees Quincy Jones and former pro boxer Evander Holyfield as people who should be considered role models for the rest of the country instead of the president. 

De Niro doesn’t even pretend to act satirical. He’s a fucking tired 45 of dusty vinyl.

Trump has made me see many Hollywood Deep Staters uncomfortably clear and it’s not pretty. So many disappointments, so many celebrities I just don’t give a shit about now.

Remember Robert when he was edgy?

“You didn’t think you were going to completely get away without a ‘(expletive) Trump’ moment, did you?” he joked, referencing his infamous f-bomb speech about the commander in chief at the Tony Awards last summer.

“On the other hand, the individual who currently purports to lead America is not worthy of any tribute,” he continued. “Unless you think of his impeachment and imprisonment as a sort of tribute. And that’s how you’d make America great again.”

To which I have to say.


Kanye remains based…

The spell has not worn off.

Kanye West visited the decidedly unbased David Letterman on the set of his Netflix show, “My Next Guest Needs No Introduction.”

Kanye West refused to back down in his support of President Donald Trump in an appearance on David Letterman’s new Netflix series.

West, a guest Letterman’s My Next Guest Needs No Introduction, claimed liberals bully Trump supporters.

“This is like my thing with Trump — we don’t have to feel the same way, but we have the right to feel what we feel,” West said.

His decision to wear a “Make American Great Again” hat is a way to show people they shouldn’t be afraid to express opinions, West said, adding that it’s “not about politics.”

Letterman challenged West on allegations of voter suppression during mid-term elections.

“So if I see a person that I admire talking about Donald Trump can think whatever he does,” Letterman said, “I wonder if those thoughts, indirectly, aren’t hurting people who are already being hurt.”

West countered by asking whether Letterman had ever been bullied in high school for wearing the wrong hat.  “Liberals bully people who are Trump supporters!” West said.

Oh Kanye. What will the neighbors say.

Your fans! Whattya thinking, Kanye!?