Dude, do you even shoplift?

I feel bad for this guy.

In fact, he should get one complimentary get-out-of-jail card just cause he’s that feeble.

I am especially taken by that exiting flourish where he does a Bruce Lee on the glass door as he flees the store (before his pants begin falling).

How much you wanna bet he practiced that shit night after night for this big moment. He needed to get that move in, fail or not.

It is now America’s burden to liberate migrants from their illogical drive to self-imprison.

Or so implied Ms. Cortez last week.

 

Sharing a photo of hundreds of women, men and small children packed into a parking lot at a Border Patrol station in El Paso, Texas, Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has called on Americans to reflect “on the course of action” the country has chosen to respond to the influx of migrant families arriving at the U.S.-Mexico border in search of asylum.

 

As in this.

 

Her drivel continues.  It always does.

 

“This is America. This is Texas. This is our…course of action, the one we chose. I cannot and will not accept it,” the New York congresswoman said, before adding a string of hashtags, calling for an end to family separation, for the reunification of separated families and for the abolishment of the U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency, a demand that was a central component of her grassroots electoral campaign.

 

These people have chosen self-imprisonment as a gesture of aggressiveness.   There is nothing dignified or self-respecting about burdening the United States with their children at their own peril.  No one is “holding” these invaders except their own obnoxious disobedience of law and process which is disastrously emboldened by the symbolism fetish perpetuated on Americans by our leftist politicians.

 

**archive**

Nathaniel Rowland’s impulse kill.

Hm.

So how does this work exactly?

A college town:  you’re parked outside a bar around 2am, just minding your own business, and suddenly a pretty young girl stumbles into your car thinking that you’re her Uber ride home.

The possibilities are quite endless.  Where do you take this?

On the one hand, you can order her out of your car…

to <thousands of other outcomes depending on your level of nefarious>

to…

You kidnap her and kill her.

 

Nathaniel David Rowland

 

Nathaniel Rowland was arrested yesterday and charged with the girl’s murder.  (He chose the latter option).

 

Samantha Josephson

 

Police arrested a man Saturday in connection with the death of a college student who apparently got into the suspect’s car thinking it was her Uber ride. Nathaniel David Rowland, 24, was arrested early Saturday after a police officer noticed him driving a black Chevy Impala, the same type of car that Samantha Josephson got into as she left a bar shortly after 2 a.m. Friday in the city of Columbia’s 5 Points area, Columbia Police Chief Skip Holbrook said at a news conference.

Rowland tried to run, but the officer was able to catch up to him, Holbrook said. When they returned to the car, he said, the officer saw what appeared to be blood in the car.

“We believe … that she simply mistakenly got into this particular car thinking it was an Uber ride,” Holbrook said of Josephson, noting that surveillance video captured her getting into the car. “She opened the door and got into it and departed with the suspect driving.”

Rowland will be charged with murder and kidnapping, Rowland said. It was unclear if he had an attorney.

Holbrook said hunters found Josephson’s body late Friday afternoon off a dirt road in rural Clarendon County, which is about 65 miles  southeast of Columbia.

 

Samantha Josephson is dead and no amount of pondering and agonizing will bring her back, but what is the deal?

Was this an “impulse kill” by Rowland precipitated by the young woman’s tragic mistake?  Did Rowland wake up Friday morning having no idea he would pocket himself a little murder before going to bed at the end of the day?

 

 

If so, this is much graver than if he had planned or orchestrated the murder beforehand.  Even if Samantha Josephson was inebriated (not saying she was…but…), how did she slip into a car that was not her designated Uber ride?  Did Rowland ingeniously cloak himself as an Uber driver in order to draw a helpless young co-ed into his deadly web?  I guess we’ll find out more in the coming days, but I vote for premeditation, not impulse, in this murder.

Premeditation is civilized.

If impulse, the man is simply a heartless beast.

 

Reebok tries to be edgy but is outdone by the sheer unedginess of hoops and ballers.

Have you seen the new Reebok commercial with dark sinister undertones of The Grudge-an schoolgirl malevolence?

I have enjoyed the magnetic commercial enough that I’ve downloaded it and am blogging about it. It’s wickedly enticing. Entrancing, even.

If you’ve never seen the original Japanese horror flick, Ju-on, or its later American incarnation, The Grudge, this Reebok spot won’t evoke that familiar dread you felt when watching the movie.  In which case, the commercial might appear odd and nightmarishly absurd and a whole lot of kooky, but it won’t strike that special chord of dreadful recognition you once felt.

And the real goal of this commercial seems edginess.

Superficially weird, dark, yes, baffling, for sure; edgy? Maybe, but I don’t think it’s edgy for one simple fact: it involves sports, and furthermore, it involves “urban sports.” There is absolutely nothing edgy about sports, much less urban sports. Edgy is a niche reserved for people who did not enjoy bouncing balls on blacktops or spiraling egg-shaped rubber across a rectangular brain-cell-snuffing patch of grass.

Edgy is quite unlike a basketball, it’s quite unlike the inner city. Edgy is a subtle form of derangement, and there is nothing subtle about sports, or the hood.

The first time I saw this commercial, my intrigue was snuffed out quickly by the devolution to the basketball context.

Booooooring.

Reebok spent much effort seeking to squeeze edgy from a mundanely normie pastime populated by mundanely normie participants.

As Jordan Peele has proven, a horror movie can be mundanely un-edgy, and Reebok is bolstering this claim.

Phillip Ray Lester, non-testament to sheer cranial capacity.

Virtue-signalers are fond of propounding, subtly, the notion that you can’t judge a book by its cover. In this sense, that historical truism is too trite and unironic for today’s standoffish Liberal memeing self-proclaimed intelligentsia.

But the sentiment is implied by their talk, stances and SoshMedia proclamations.

So…lest you think Phillip Ray Lester is hard at work unraveling the next great quantum discovery or piecing together a revolutionary theory of everything on his chalkboard, I have disappointing news for you.

 

 

He’s not.

In spite of that massive cranium.

 

Fresno Police arrested 61-year-old Phillip Ray Lester, Tuesday, charging him with assault with a deadly weapon.

Police said the two men were homeless and that Lester initiated the fight.

“[Lester] went to the other homeless person’s camping area began tearing down his tent,” Fresno Police Lt. Mark Hudson told the station. “That’s when the victim confronted him, and that’s when the suspect began striking him with a baseball bat.”

 

Uh, yeah…no.

That skull must hold more empty air than a full-sized transport van for the Indigenous Midgets of Oz.

 

**archive**