Having someone to hear you out and doubt your rantings, someone comfortable enough with you to question your babble, is invaluable, if in fact, you value the integrity of your ideas.
If you’re an idealogical tyrant who only cares about being right, at the expense of pondering, then you would not like an S/O like mine. Many of her questions, her push-back, lead me to reexamine my thought process. This allows me to improve, or fine-tine, my rhetoric…her doubting of a theory or statement makes me think it out further. Extrapolate a more cohesive thought that might have been riddled with falsity.
For instance, the other day, the department I work in, typically went on a foodie bender. They ordered lunch in from a Los Angeles hallmark sandwich joint, but not to be outdone, someone else brought in a big box (or 2) of donuts. The feeding was ravenous. I resisted, as usual, since I’m not really “into” food to the same degree most of the gluttons I work with are. That night, I told my S/O, “They sure love food in that department.”
She replied, “Everybody loves food. I love food…you love food.”
I remained silent because she was right. I filed away the rebutted thought, for my rhetoric was dismantled. I needed to rephrase, but I couldn’t think of a thing to say yet. It was late in the day, I was tired. So I reopened the case yesterday morning, thought about it some more. “Revisited” what I said.
Of course, everyone loves food.
That’s a no-brainer. I love food, too. I like different types more than others, but in general, I do enjoy food, in the abstract, which is what the “love of food” connotes. What did I truly intend to articulate about my department and other gluttonous displays in the modern age?
It struck me: of course they love food, but they take it a step further. They love eating. That is the demarcation. Love of eating is not the same as love of food. Simply because you love food does not mean you must consume it in such an exaggerated, excessive display of dissolution.
I should have told my S/O, “This department loves to eat,” and in this manner, she could not have thwarted my opinion. Not everyone loves to eat. Some people enjoy eating, some people find it pleasurable, but it does not consume their existence. I love food, its many presentations and constructions, the spices that assemble to add unique tastes, the varying concentration of ingredients and the manner in which they are brought together for presentation.
I love a good piece of fruit at the sweet height of its bloom.
I love food, but my power is in resisting hedonistic indulgence in all matters sensual.
You love food, the object, but loving to eat is not about the food, it is about the action, the capitulation to your baser nature.
That is the difference.