Kate Moss finally gives it up, and I barely had to beg


Kate Moss was like the only runway model I ever thought was hot.


Runway models are gross.


They are skinny and shapeless. They have no hips, no tits, no ass. All they have are really gorgeous faces. Big deal. Faces aren’t sexy, they are nice. Asses and hips are sexy. Runway models make me want to puke. Only high maintenance prissy White and Asian boys like models because there is little sex involved; just lots of ego and peer posturing.


Still, for some reason, Kate Moss was the peculiar case I always found very hot. Maybe it’s because, despite looking like a twig, she still fulfilled the womanly presentation. She didn’t look like a 13-year-old boy in a dress, which is how most of these praying mantis runway models look. Kate wouldn’t give me the time of day. She wouldn’t give anyone the time of day. She was mysterious, elusive, oblique. And she never parted with a second glance.



OK, well maybe she doesn’t look like a 13-year-old boy, but it could be argued she may resemble a 13-year-old girl. Still, she was hotter than most of those genderless models. She didn’t give a crap about me, or anyone like me. This is why she was so exclusively reclusive.


She was young.


Kate is 40 now.


Which means that like all good desperate women who have outlived their usefulness, she is now giving it up to the all the pathetic offerings of the sexual middle-aged male marketplace, which includes hordes of simpering desperadoes who can easily cough up enough money to buy a stupid Playboy magazine from the corner rack. Kate is finally giving it up for us.


Kate Moss is set to take it all off for Playboy. The British fashion model, known for her pin-thin androgynous body emblematic of the heroin-chic look of the ’90s, is due to pose nude for the magazine’s January issue. Web reports first surfaced earlier this year that she was going to pose in the buff for the iconic men’s title. But last week, her hairstylist Oribe Canales let it slip that Moss in fact completed the shoot and that he was on set to style her hair. Moss is expected to appear on the January cover to coincide with Playboy’s 60th anniversary and the beauty’s own 40th birthday.


C’mon. 40 is the new 17, right?


Perhaps opening that centerfold might strike you as “lucky” as winning front row tickets to the REO Speedwagon performance at the state fair, but behold the ancient beauty!