The Urban Romanticist

Beyond the hipsters and limousine liberals, beyond the vegan food Nazis and apologists-of-the-dysfunctional and animal worshipers, there resides a deeper level of definition, a wide-ranging domain against which all the aforementioned groups are contained. I will call this parent group the Urban Romanticist. The Urban Romanticist does not necessarily live in the city, although he most likely does, but he boasts the masturbatory self-righteous Bohemian attitude, circa 2013, which inclines him to live a lifestyle specific to a narrow-minded range of free-thinking and free-behaving groups (though they are anything but “free” because of their repugnant conformity). Here in Los Angeles, I know them as the artiste/hipster crowd and they generally share the same views and idiosyncrasies. They are united by their bland and predictable retorts.

And they also blog.

One glaring examples of bloggery set to the tune of Urban Romanticism in Los Angeles is the local “laist” blog which is awash in Urban Romantic tropes such as vegan dining, juice bars, celebrity antics, and well-coordinated and rehearsed anti-society drivel. Today they posted a video that has begun its early viral roots. I took note because I saw the saw the video earlier in a post on another blog, quite unlike laist, The Quest For 50. The video is entitled “The Women of L.A.” and takes cynical note of the terribly high-school-like nature of popular, female-laced social scenes in this city. Granted, the women who the video takes barbs at are not representative of all women in this city, but the predominant vibe in L.A. follows this trajectory. Women are vulnerable to herd behavior and even the lowliest of them adulate the antics of the top tier Angelenas. They tend to wear the same arrogant attitude like a dog wears a sweater. The callous and distasteful nature of Los Angeles’ elite women raises the undeserving bar for women of all stripes in SoCal. In other words, if you’re a normal or unremarkable dude, you best stay away from hot scenes unless you love the abuse.

Note the denigrating tone directed at the nerdy, unattractive guy. It’s remorseless, but we laugh.

Note, as well, the laist blog’s post:

Just in time for Valentine’s Day, we have a video about an East Coast transplant striking out with “The Women of L.A.”

On the one hand, the music video nails some aspects of the scene. The bars in Los Angeles do close too early or it really is hard to let loose in our car-centric lifestyles and enjoy that second glass of wine. The video coasts on a wave of 1990’s nostalgia with repurposed “RENT” and Salt ‘n’ Pepa songs and some choice celebrity cameos. We never get tired of seeing Mr. Belding playing against type, and hey, Jaleel White looks good!

On the other hand, our protagonist DJ Lubel drifts into entitled Nice Guy (TM) territory. It’s one thing to joke about being too ugly for the superficial hot chicks of La La Land, but it’s another to turn around and make stale (not to mention misogynist and racist) jokes about all the girls who don’t meet his own standards.

This is followed by two stills from the video which evidently trigger a little Urban Romanticist-styled blowback.

In the first, three fat, unappetizing “Valley” chicks, and in the other, some Beverly Hills Iranian party girls with underarm hair pasted on in pure cultural ridicule. The writer signs off with the following offended words: Not cool, bro.

See, the way the Urban Romanticist functions is that they idolize Black rappers, ignore the plight of unpopular and unattractive men, and spit venom when certain groups are mocked (women, Iranians).

The Urban Romanticist is not the most discerning thinker and most of his opinions are reactive and numbly synchronized with his peers. Trailblazing authenticity is rarely to be found.