I know a Disclaimer Chick

I know a Disclaimer Chick.

Chick always be dis-claimin’!

It never fails that in her raspy cigarette/prepubescent-sounding girly voice (despite the fact she left that stage of her life behind decades ago) she beseeches whoever she is talking to honestly believe that she is “not mad.” She emphasizes it again. She is not mad. Despite the fact she just snapped said other party’s head off. She has a bad attitude and whines incessantly because people and situations they construct always trouble her badly. Everything bothers her (she’s kinda like me, but in RL form) and she is unable to contain her boiling point. Her boiling point frequently erupts in a scalding steam batch of bad attitude bitchiness.

If she was a Native American Indian, her tribal name would be something like “flies off the handle.” She flies off the handle constantly, especially when stress and frustration overwhelm her (which incidentally happens quickly). Her irritability threshold is so low she steps on it all the time like a flailing shoelace.

Because of this charming aspect of her personality, her psychic buttons are hair-trigger and it never fails that everyone inevitably does something that just pisses the hell out of her. And rather than thinking upon or contemplating, she reacts thoughtlessly in response to anger and frustration. However, many times after the initial bitchburst, she will retreat like a coward and start apologizing that she is “not really mad,” she’s just…you know, whatever trite utterisms she can use to minimize the gravity of her behavior. She never owns her anger or her antagonistic emotions. She immediately attempts to quell whatever harsh impression she just conveyed in her previous snap attack by belittling and trivializing the import of her apparent emotion. She was not mad. She is dour and unfriendly and even in moments of “happiness” is edgy and prepared to take offense at the slightest deviation from her lazy course. But of course, she is not mad. She is the Disclaimer Chick I know. She always be dis-claimin’ her anger!.

She’s passive aggressive, certainly one of my least favorite human traits. I can’t stand passive aggressive behavior! Passive aggressive folks are the biggest disclaimers. They always be dis-claimin’ their own sincerity. This is why I despise them. They are fearful of genuineness which is a rare human quality to be treasured. Anyone can be phony, or as Holden Caulfield would have said, “a phony.” Passive aggressive people, through their disclaiming, display embarrassment at the expression of their own genuine emotions which catch them off guard and force them into retreat and lame-sounding damage control. They are ashamed of their sincerity because they are usually the phoniest people of all.