How to be a good American

Our government is a facile skeleton of what our Founders intended when they triumphantly applied the final touches to our Constitution and its virtuous philosophical structure which those men sincerely expected would prove to be the greatest civilized experiment. It worked for a long time abiding loosely by the guidelines launched with the ostensible aim of shaping this Republic in a self-perpetuating reaction of human excellence through future generations. Then the money men erupted across our landscape like poisonous mushrooms lying in wait, poised to usurp all noble entreaties of our Founding Fathers. The money men were wise but impatient and taken with their own greed. Slowly, our government, when referred to as the government, came to evoke images of a staid, entrenched, dog-chasing-its-tail bureaucracy of dead-end levers and optimum inefficiency fueled by the flammable duopoly of profit and greed.

Our “government” is a shell of the grandiose dream that gave birth to its formation centuries ago by a band of deposed men rescued by their idealism.

Our government is overrun with oligarchs, bankers and MBA’s. Our Bill of Rights is a past due invoice that snubs its nose at those who would rape us more viciously if only it could be so. Our “government” is a runaway train of financial elitism and it’s in the business manufacturing promises. The most successful advertising agency in this country is housed within the classic pillars of Washington DC’s mightiest testaments to power. They pitch freedom and we keep buying. We are the most gullible customers. They alter the pitch ever so slightly, and dully mesmerized, we rush out to try each new flavor which is simply an old one, just re-packaged.

Our government demands our cooperation and blind delusion.
Our government depends on our conformist frenzy.

Our government wants you to live a complicated, modern life. It wants you to live an existence of scattered and disconnected realms. Our government’s financial fuel is the incongruity of your turbulent life and all the havoc it creates in the profit-generating sphere. It wants you to not have your shit in order. It wants you to spend too much, it wants you to borrow because you were a poor conductor of personal finance, and it wants you to default and fail to fulfill promises. The government needs you to run your life poorly and it wants you to compensate for culturally-dictated failure with wild and exaggerated pipe dreams of status and class, and further, it wants you to learn to define these in terms of possessions and glitter and reflexive consumerism. The government wants you to feel empty and it wants you to have no idea. It wants you to feel a void and it wants you to fill that void not with self-realization or a higher sense of wisdom: it wants you to be base. It wants you to spend money to fill the void. It needs you to fill that void with the artificial materialist narcotics of society that can be outlawed because the government needs to effect new streams of criminalization in order to spawn underground economies that enrich without paying the institutional price of legal legitimacy.

The government does not want you to be in control of your life. The government wants your life to be chaotic and fraught with irresponsibility and immature abandon. The government becomes wealthy off the backs of its puppet citizenry. The government wants you to be in over your head and it wants you to lose complete perspective when it comes to defining your self-existence.

I am sick of watching our government ease the way for gluttonous screw-ups. Those who joined the mindless frenzy get bailed out. People who abuse the system get bailed out. Governmental co-dependence. Screw ups are handed a clean slate and encouraged to soil it because it is patriotic to do so!

Yet, the simple man who demands nothing, uses little, leaves little mark on society, receives nothing. No federal commendations for those who remain offstage. The best way to keep up with the Jones’s in 2011 is to make terrible decisions and rash choices, and in turn, receive “get out of jail” passes from the government congratulating you for being a good, impulsive citizen, for fueling the dystopian socioeconomic backbone of our corporacracy with your excessive nature. It’s the American thing to do.