Before I commence, let me make clear, this is not a “fat apologist” article. I’m not writing this to excuse being fat or overeating.
By the same token, I’m not here to trash fat people, a practice which seems to be the fashion in many parts.
Guys (including some of my closer acquaintances) derive great gusto in the art of belittling and dehumanizing fat women. It is as if they are somehow elevating and stroking their own ego by knocking down the physical and behavioral shortcomings of others. I don’t understand. This is counterproductive and it adds nothing to the discourse. My god, I’ve had buddies who reveled in the obese misery of chicks and apparently milked great succor from the ridicule of 35% body fat-plagued chicks who waddle around, to make matters worse.
Come on, we can all agree that obese women are not sexy.
Fat rolls, Sequoia-sized thighs, dude, none of it is hot. For most guys, it is beyond disgusting…it is downright repulsive. Witnessing a woman of such epic BMI proportions does not get your juices flowing. There is something primitively hardwired in our brains and limbic system that dissuades our endocrine system from self-reward upon the appearance of a very fat woman. Primitively, I’m sure a woman of larger than average curvaceous proportions was probably prized for her child-rearing grandness. I’m not talking about curves, however. I’m talking about pathological obesity which blots the appearance of curves with its mountainous terrain. This is not the sort of obesity which occurred in primitive antiquity. When food is scarce, overeating is not a condoned luxury (meaning it does not present itself as an avenue by which mental pathology expresses itself). I suppose in that context, if obesity exists, it epitomizes the traits of hoarding, a distinctly harmful trait in an environment of communal cooperation which is what existed for thousands of early human generations.
Obesity in women as we observe it is a very unnatural condition and as such, presents a foreign and distasteful stimulus which our male primal natures are not prepared to comprehend and thus find sexually unappealing.
Our modern society’s relationship with food and self-image is diseased. Modern luxury and the advent of food industrialization have wreaked havoc on our bodies and minds. No one pays the price like women. Food now represents a sensual weakness, a sensual allure, and what better specimen to fall prey to such tantalizing traps than women? The female is a sensual creature and she craves the superficially rewarding gifts of physical pleasure. Food, sex, sensations of touch, sight…she finds it much harder to contain her urges in our modern world which gives us nothing but time and resources to indulge in such luxurious emptiness.
It’s impossible for me to heap such undiluted levels of scorn against fat women. I don’t have it in me to sling derogatory words and analogies against every fat woman I see. It’s not my style because I realize that obesity is a modern affliction and such afflictions are common amongst all people and of both genders. Obesity is the larger cross to bear for women. Men are not restricted nor judged harshly for such an apparent weakness of character. A man’s gluttony is a symbolic trait of his material success, which strangely adds to his mating appeal. A man can be a fat slob but if he carries himself authoritatively and shamelessly, he will have no problem in the mating dance.
However, there is a “fat” personality type which some men flaunt; most fat women do. It is a personality that goes hand-in-hand with obesity, it brings with it certain accompanying personality traits which are common to fat people. A fat man who can escape such a personality profile and “bold up” may essentially shape his masculine personality as he sees fit (ie, Tony Soprano). Unfortunately for women, if they attempt to eschew the “fat personality,” they may come across as embittered and resentful and defensive. It’s a no-win proposition for fat women.
I personally witness many women who struggle with gluttony. Perhaps because of this personal experience, I find it difficult to belittle and dehumanize them. If I see a fat woman who I don’t know, I may be repulsed but I sympathize with her plight. I am not fat but I understand the helpless magnetic horror of some behavioral tendencies which grip your existence. The harder you fight, the bolder you make a stand, the steeper the hill becomes. Just when you think you’ve made some progress toward mounting the summit, your footing slips. You exert your last strained gestures to fight off descending backwards forces, but second by second, momenbt by moment, the battle is slowly squandered to the gravitational pull of the hellish depths below. As the last dose of strength succumbs, your footing completely gives way to utter perdition and weakness envelopes again.
I’ve known more than a few women who bemoan their “love” of food as the reason for their obesity. Wrought with such helpless frustration, they wail angrily and bitterly while they have yet another resentful bite of whatever fattening food it is they cannot deny. Watching women fight the battle of gluttony is to witness a battle play itself out in your midst, a battle in which they try to surmount the peak futilely as the steepness of the sensual allure wins out.
I’m not intimating that men need to humor and enable women’s loss of control and rapid obese swelling.
I’m merely saying that cruel barbs do nothing to help the situation. If you don’t want to fuck a fat woman, don’t. It’s your right, and in fact it’s your right to say anything you want about fat women.
What troubles me is that guys go that extra yard which involves an active dissemination of a cultural marauding over the obese landscape.
This is the point where guys are wasting energy on something that does not deserve such wrath. I’ve known too many troubled and despondent women battling the savagery of gluttony and its ensuing obesity, that capitalizing on their pain strikes me as nothing short of blind sadism.
In the spirit of going that extra yard, I’m going to summarize and opine on some common misconceptions I’ve witnessed and heard from women intent on battling the insatiable appetites that plague them. I would love to dispel that vicious circle of self-hate and overeating. I want to address practices of dietary wellness. I am not a dietitian nor a fitness trainer, but I believe I’ve self-taught myself enough to escape the ignorant trap that engulfs society’s concept of physical well-being.
Keep in mind: the food manufacturers present one of the most insidious forces in modern society. And anyone who has read this blog knows, I am not the finger-pointing type.
So anyways, this is just a snapshot of what I feel the modern woman does wrong.
I will post again about what I believe she can do right which she presently doesn’t.
1) Focusing on the poundage. In the quest to slim down, they fixate on weight. Pounds are the inescapable barometer of physical well-being. They dictate the idealized vision of self. Yes, if you are morbidly obese, it is good to focus on bringing the initial weight down before you do anything else. If you’re a 300 lb+ woman,, bring that number down first. If, on the other hand you are obese in the general, average sense, you don’t need to focus on weight as much. Weight fluctuates very widely in women. They gain water weight during certain menstrual periods. Weight can be extremely misleading since it is sensitive to culinary and digestive environments. You only need to drink a can of “diet soda” and eat a turkey sandwich in order to gain a pound (or beyond). Weight is a useful gauge but it doesn’t determine your dietary success as an indicator for any specifiic moment during your “diet.” If you have a tape rule, waist, abdominal and hip measurements are best utilized as guides which will dictate how well (or badly) you are doing. Tape measures are cheaper than scales. Buy one. In the absence of that, there is the tried and true test…how do your pants fit? Do they siphon you of oxygen now? Do they loose the waist? Do you need to raise the belt up a notch? These are the truest indicators since they measure body composition, not weight. Weight is a very general and diffused guide to body composition. Body composition needs to be our focus. If you’re lifting weights and you note a slight weight increase over time, it could very well be muscle mass. If you just drank 3 cups of water, the scale will tell you that you’ve gained weight. You need to envision the perfect body as a geometric arrangement of circumfrences. Who cares what you weigh if you your waist size is decreasing? The waist size is an indicator of the general body composition. If your waist is shrinking, so is the rest of your body’s fat deposits. Fixation on poundage results in women spending money on gimmicky diet chemicals which essentially are nothing but fancily named diuretics which do nothing but flush water from your body. Voila, you’ve lost 2 pounds. Miracle drug! The weight loss industry is rich because of your obsession with pounds.
2) Eat a real breakfast. What is it with these chicks. For breakfast they are incapable of eating eggs or sausage or bacon, yet they have no qualms about toasting a bagel, spreading (non-fat) cream cheese and drinking a whipped bullshit sugar drink from Starbucks? The magical notion of breakfast is probably over-hyped in our post-agricultural food era, but it is important for those who choose to eat it. The breakfast menu, as indoctrinated in our world, is about bread, milk, sugar, and more bread. Chicks pretending to eat healthy because they are eating breakfast. Bagels, which are the Devil’s offering to the hips of womankind, are the worst. Bagels are great, but really. That shit is a fucking fatfest which are best enjoyed monthly, tops. Croissants, muffins, rolls…none of this belongs in your daily diet. Bread is one of the primary hidden contributors to popular obesity. They sliver into the picture inconspicuously and women coat them with non-fat goodies and then assume they’ve been “good.” You can’t be good if you’re eating bread. Have an egg (loads of protein and just about ever imaginable nutrient available) and a slice or 2 of bacon (good fat and protein) and about 10 cups of coffee, and you’re set baby. You won’t be hungry for the rest of the morning or afternoon and none of that shit is going to your hips. Many Asian chicks I’ve known will eat white rice at breakfast which is equally and illustriously fat-boggling. If you want to do that because you’re Asian, you better eat “Asian” the rest of the day because that is one imported habit that needs to die. And, before I end this point, I’d like to mention that women absolutely love pancakes. Too much so. I’ve yet to meet a woman who did not love pancakes. By and large, women have a fetish for pancakes, which is simply one of the worst foods you can eat. Any time of day.
3) You eat out too much. Dude, I know the woman of today does not consider the kitchen her turf, but honestly. Even if your college years only taught you to drink or watch television, there is no reason not to learn the art of putting together a measly pasta prepared jar dish. I can’t believe so many women are so ill-prepared to work a stove (or stove top). What the hell? And I’ve never seen so many who eat out regularly. Today’s woman considers it her prerogative to enjoy the “fine” cuisine created by other hands. Laziness sets in and the kitchen seems a formidable obstacle to a life of complacent enjoyment. You just want to feed that mouth and you revel in tastes and salt and sugars and other oddball flavors that really meet no nutritionally redeeming qualities. Even when you can’ afford it, or shouldn’t, you still run out and throw your hard-earned dollar (which was better spent on that HGTV project) toward some elitist restaurant that really does nothing special or well but which all your girlfriends proclaim is the BEST. So you run out and hit that restaurant up and spend all your money and talk and congregate and eat when you should just be eating something simple and home-prepared. Life is simple if you just eat like that. Eating out makes it incredibly difficult to monitor your consumption. And sweetheart…hate to break it to you. But you must monitor. You must work to eat healthy. You can’t have an average body composition in this day and age just by accident. It takes work to fight the rising tide of gluttonous disease.
Eating healthy is not about eating an apple and banana on that rare day you feel healthy.
Eating healthy is not eating some stinky salad redolent of feta cheese and olives.
Eating healthy is a habit. Much like watching “Dancing With The Stars” or getting your nails done. Eating healthy is you. Not something.