Three-year-old computers and 45-year-old cynics

Oh man.
May I just state clearly and for the record.
I am tapped.
Hungover. Drained and spent.
It was that damn post. Yesterday’s “by the Bay” monstrosity. Did it to me.

I intended the category to be a showcase for brief interludes detailing my drunken foibles.
“Crash and burn by the Bay” turned into a monster.
I pored over that post a thousand times.

I spent so much time on it you’d think I was preparing a Senior thesis.

Dude, that much writing took a lot out of me. I think I permanently corrupted the original goal of the category: “Some Silly Things I’ve Done While Drunk (as hell).” Yep…last night’s finished product bore no resemblance to anything I intended.

First of all, the crash and burn fiasco was beyond silly. It was diseased and painful. To live. To write. And if anyone had the patience, to read as well.

How much do bloggers need to divulge?

Privacy is a terribly private matter.

My privacy threshold is astoundingly low. As I’ve detailed in my “About me” section, it is very low for one important reason: I don’t really care what anyone thinks.

How much of a stake do you have in society? That should be your answer in case you’re wondering about your internet privacy standards. How much of your future rides on the opinions and generosity of your fellow compatriots?

If your answer is “a lot” I would suggest you simply do not blog. Don’t do it. It’s not really worth it. If you need money, get a job. You need attention? Find a LTR on e-Harmony. But give up the blog shtick. It will come back and bite your ambitious ass. Believe me.

But if you insist on buying a domain name and your vanity draws you into the cyber-community in spite of yourself, then go ahead and blog, but blog about harmless shit like scrapbooking or documenting the quirks of that little runt dog that shares a bed with you.

The ‘net loves controversy, it loves juice, and it loves Google. Don’t ever think anonymity is yours.

Besides, I’m convinced that 99.8% of bloggers are attention whores. In varying measures, certainly, but all of them, stinking attention whores. I’m one, I’ll admit. I hate being the center of attention in a group of flesh and blood people. I’m terrified of public speaking.

Shit. Get me up on this cyber podium and you can’t shut me up. Just look at yesterday’s post.
Won’t shut up.

It’s not like I plan on closing up shop and putting the router away anytime soon. In fact, I strolled through Best Buy today on a scouting mission to investigate the mysterious puzzle that is “3G.” I didn’t learn much about it, but I did learn the local Best Buy has a smoking guitar section which made it virtually impossible to tear my son away from.

The prospects of surfing the net while I’m riding the bus or perched atop a tree house somewhere is difficult to ignore.

I need a new desktop. My current one is at least 5 or 6 years old and it sputters along like a 1977 Ford Ranger with plugged fuel lines. I’ve got an awesome 15Mb DL stream and all it does when it encounters my old computer is splatter out the pipeline like a senior citizen overflowing his Depends.

I can recall the day I brought that damn computer home.

Computers are like pets, aren’t they?
You bring them home as little computer puppies. Fresh and full of zip.

Computer years are numerically worth so much more than dog years. If a dog year is 7 human years, a computer year is at least 15 human. At least.


If I was a computer, I would be exactly 3 years old.
Which means it’s time to start upgrading.

Time to add some RAM, add some new devices…a 3-year-old computer is beginning to run short of the freshest gizmos.

That’s what I am. A 3-year-old computer.
It’s pretty hard to compete against those little boys, those computers that just came off the shelf a few months ago, 3G enabled and boasting almost a terabyte of hard drive space and all that “dual” BS.

It’s like listening to these 20-something go-getters who hoist the art of picking up chicks up to the analytical level of astrophysics.

I can’t compete, no do I care to. But they are amusing. Most of the PUA stuff I see is re-hashed garbage that is basic human behavioral logic used to slice courting rituals into nearly invisible slivers of reality. A lot of the “group leaders” create websites and communities and “lairs.” Amusing stuff. The concept of “alpha” permeates their discussions. Just another tribute and reminder to how removed we have become from our primal origins.

But there is hope. I discovered a blog belonging to guy in Canada called Vancouver Game. On the surface it looks like any other “Guide To Being A Player / You Gotta Be An Asshole” forum. Only on the surface. The dude has a brain and maturity and he’s not afraid to show it, unlike many of his cohorts. Check it out…I will.