The testicular compensation of the sports nerd

The Sports Nerd is an interesting specimen.
The sports nerd doesn’t countenance himself as a nerd and this is the funniest thing in the world. The sports nerd might even be inclined to speak of nerds as another subhuman race; to speak ill of them as an inferior species. I would even venture to guess that a sports nerd or two has taken it upon himself to bully a nerd and count himself as masculine for this affront.

Sports nerds are like the naked emperor. Everyone sees it except the sports nerd and his sports-bar’d clingy face-painted social group.

The problem with sports nerds is that they thoughtlessly define “nerd” as submale and “wimpy,” in other words, the archetypal bookworm/WoW-playing socially backwards emotionally stunted trespasser. Sports nerds are fond of building up a self-professed masculine image and as such, never consider the fact, not even for a moment, that “nerds” are not solely define by books or bytes. They don’t comprehend neridsm is about single-minded allegiance to a pastime at the exclusion of other legitimate and broadly accepted social outlets.

I’ve known many sports nerds (you are probably one) and they bask in a testosterone-fueled mania which they suppose precludes them from mass neuroses or compulsive pathologies. Sports nerds gather and they yell and quibble over numbers and positions and strategies involving living men and thus soothe themselves with the notion they are better and stronger Men.

The sports nerd does not realize his fixation is the epitome of nerd.
He dons his teams colors, he wears jerseys plastered with another man’s name, he wallows in disconnected glory. He is the loser in high school who tried to ingratiate himself with the jocks. The nerd shoots his sports wad vicariously through a football player wearing tights and shoulder pads. He compiles numbers and calls radio shows in order to argue the supremacy of players.

He lives and breathes the meaningless.

He is a sports nerd. His macho fixation doesn’t mean shit. The macho offspring of the sports nerd is just a distraction from one important distinction.

Testicular compensation!