My sanctuary, my prison

I visualize myself in circles.
My life is spent in circles.

I’m in many circles simultaneously.
Throughout the day I wander into circles, leave circles, loiter at the perimeter of others, approach the centers, and ricochet from circle to circle. Circles always await and bid farewell.

There is only one circle I’m in continuously. It is my own circle. This circle surrounds me and keeps me at bay and perfectly poised at its very center. As long as I remain mentally and emotionally balanced, maintaining an absolute central bearing in my circle will be simple. It is only during periods of intense turmoil and emotional unrest that I find myself sliding away from the center. Towards the edge, the precipice of my circle. It is imperative that I remain at the center of my circle. This circle represents my life, my world. It is my reality and sole existence. The perimeter is symbolic but physical. I cannot surmount this barrier, for the harder I attempt to exit, the more elastic the boundary grows and it merely stretches to accommodate my persistent exit.

Strangely, despite the fact my circle’s perimeter is impossibly tough to penetrate in an outwardly direction, it is remarkably porous when someone attempts to enter it from the outside. For this reason, circles easily glide in and out of my life randomly and at will. These circles are the possessions of other people. Everyone has their own circle with identical properties as my own. All day long, we wander in and out of circles and with some people who we know well, our circles are conjoined permanently in a state of union. The circles become enmeshed but the painful truth is that every circle can break free of any other circle at any time. No circle is ever affixed permanently to any other circle. Every circle is capable of breaking free and wandering off into the vast plain of lonely, nomadic circles.

I exist in complete awareness of my circle. I elevate it and rejoice it. My circle is my life and my succor. My circle is the best hiding place I ever knew. I seek to be the absolute ruler and dictator of my circle and I do not allow any one to compromise it. I’m the tyrant of my circle. It is a sterile environment and no human encroachment is allowed for that would be to risk human contamination, which is the very worst sort.

My circle is my sanctuary and my prison. It is where I flee and where I am bound. I cannot leave this circle, ever. The world outside my circle is overwhelming and scary and I do not understand it. I do not comprehend existence outside my circle so I remain ensconced in the safety of my own personal predictability. No one is permitted to enter my circle and no one can harm my spirit for it is impervious to intruders since there are none. To be sheltered so long is to be bred into utter debilitating seclusion.

I love my circle. And it loves me.