The lesbian+feminism dilemna

Ah that got your attention!
Amazingly, sadly, repulsively, we as males are intrigued by the L word.
The word brings with it a flurry of pornographic and pseudo-pornographic snapshots steamrolling through our depraved skulls.
I think it was all that damn lesbian porn we saw as teens (or adults, as the case may be) that served to reinforce the idealistic image we have of dykes.
Except that what we saw sputtering by on bad videotapes…were most assuredly not dykes. Those were babes, they were HOT LESBIAN SLUTS; we decorated them with hetero folly in order to make them hot, but the sad truth is that it was all a big fat lie. Most lesbians do not, I repeat,


, look like this:

Generally it is safe to say most lesbians do not voluntarily wear skirts, do not have long hair and are not the slightest bit feminine. Not a complaint or a judgement, just a statement man.

Nope, dial up Lesbian Escorts Outcall and you’re more likely to find this knocking at your door:

To each their own. I’m a live and let live kinda guy. I’ve known lesbians, I know lesbians, some of them are the coolest chicks out there…the only catch is they don’t want your penis. Lesbians are the ultimate self-perpetuating cockblockers.

And for the other side my equation…the feminists.
Hey what the hell is a feminist anyways? My first thought…a woman who actively campaigns for equality, no? But I hear the damn word slung around with such ferocity, it is used to describe all manner of ills and scourges…but what can we conclude a feminist is?

According to the encyclopedic standard of modern day internet-ism, Wikipedia, feminism is a political discourse aimed at equal rights and legal protection for women. It involves various movements, theories, and philosophies, all concerned with issues of gender difference; that advocate equality for women; and that campaign for women’s rights and interests.
My friends, that is fine.
I can’t possibly rationalize any useful or pressing need to relegate women to second class citizenship. Let them earn as much as men, let them vote, let them change spark plugs. Let them pee standing up for chrissakes! I do not give a shit. Call me a feminist then.

With Wiki’s loose definition, I think we could call most people feminists. Despite the fact most hetero women want and desire equal opportunity, they do not necessarily disregard clear cut gender lines. Hetero women, while striving to accelerate through the corporate rat race and make lotsa dinero so they can decorate their homes ala HGTV and kitchens ala Food TV, do not consider themselves equals to men in biological terms.
And this is clear distinction that must be drawn between different brands of feminists. The typical hetero woman has no urge to usurp manhood and is quite happy and comfortable living the biological subservient role they were born into by virtue of their XX chromosomes.

Get my point?

Lesbian = cool, whatever rocks your boat!
Feminist = of course, I have a mother, women are human and should be treated as such.

But then…things get dicey. You know why??
Because all great human arrangements are unquestionably doomed to implode and degenerate into a pile of steaming shit once humans get their hands on them.

Take 2 ingredients: 1 tablespoon of Lesbianism, 1 tablespoon of Feminism, mix them together and you got yourself a toxic brew, a bitch’s brew, so to speak.

The Lesbian Feminist, bless her soul!

You see, whereas the average hetero woman strives for financial independence and a modicum of self-respect while being more than willing to relinquish material control to the male, the lesbian feminist is a different creature entirely.

The LesFem does not enjoy being a woman, does not relish the prospect of fulfilling the gender role nature has handed her; the LesFem must compete and defeat the aura of masculinity. The LesFem has nothing to lose in the battle of the sexes because she doesn’t want or need dick! The only dick the LesFem wishes she had was her own growing between her legs, right above the testicles she’d die for. Nope my friends, the LesFem is indeed out to usurp the male species. The LesFem is quite content throwing the baby (gender lines) out with the bath water (feminist ideals) because she seeks nothing from mankind. The hetero woman, like most “well-trained” women realizes she can only push things so far, and beyond that…all things are lost. Being a woman, she has womanly needs. Thus, equality with, and eventual defeat of, the male species, would only leave her high and dry and lonely and non-revered…quite a plight for the normal woman, indeed.

Remember this part of the Wiki entry? It involves various movements, theories, and philosophies, all concerned with issues of gender difference. That is the point where feminism ceases to be about equal rights and instead swells into some demented idealogical beast which declares war on the physioligical underpinnings of the male and female roles. And we can thank LesFems for that.