The subject of ESP got me thinking.
I’m a skeptic when it comes to the magical and supernatural aspects of ESP which some insist on folding into the psychic package. There is nothing magical about it. That is just bullshit.
I do believe in some ESP, however. I believe certain brands of “ESP” can be entertained within the framework of logic and the testable tangibility of the human mind.
ESP as it is romanticized in pop culture is simply the ultra-refined perceptions some people develop intermixed with the ability to quickly structure and magnify these perceptions through the prism of razor thin reasoning. ESP thus represents a rare combination of these disparate elements fused in a singular human mind. Intuition, long attributed to women, is simply a reflection of the fact most women are much more in sync with the interpersonal dynamics of their environment. Whereas men generally do not immerse themselves in the sociological mechanics of their world. However, in the physical placement and mechanical aspects of their environment, men are naturally more inclined to pay heed…a trait possibly evolved from their primitive role as hunter and protector.
I’ve often suspected my instincts and skills of precognition are sharper than the average bear and occasionally I experience something which many might assert is supernatural or “psychic” (with an air of mystery) in nature when in reality, I ascribe them to the simple combination of perception and logic. I observe, I process consciously and subconsciously (this is done in a split second) and a result is spit out my cerebral printer. “Answer please.” And now I have a glimpse of some aspect of life which I’ve gleaned, by all apparent signs, from secret knowledge not written on the surface of physical existence. Even though it was etched there, but not in an ink we are trained to recognize.
Which brings me to something that happened about a month and a half ago.
It was a Saturday afternoon. I had plans to be somewhere very early on Sunday and it was looking to be an all-day commitment, so Saturday was my only time to prepare for the work week. I cooked some pasta in the late afternoon, ate a little and left it on the stove while I spent some time on my computer. It was about 4 or 5 and I began to get very sleepy. Groggy even. I thought it would be nice to take a quick nap. I wrapped some things up and by now I was feeling kinda gross. I can’t describe the feeling. It was a deep malaise, a throbbing sort of fatigue. I felt weird and I wondered if I was coming down with something. I just wanted to take a nap. I shuffled to my bedroom and collapsed into the bed. Laying down helped, but not much. I still felt gross. I closed my eyes but something would not let me fall asleep. I tried. I tried to drift to sleep, for that is what my body wanted, but my mind raced and would not let me rest. I was suddenly seized with the need to head to the kitchen and clean the dishes I had dirtied while making the pasta. It was literally calling me from bed. I was being summoned and I could not sleep! Like an invisible psychic hand, it was.
Fuck it, I finally crawled out of bed and made my way to the kitchen. I turned the water on and tiredly began washing dishes. I swear, right about this time, I caught a whiff of gas. At first I thought it was a dirty pot or the trash but suddenly it occurred to me that a gas pilot was on. Had to be. I glanced at the stove and one of the burners was on at about the medium setting but there was no flame. I must have turned it off earlier but failed to turn the knob all the way down so the flame just died. In other words, for the past 2 hours my burner was spewing carbon monoxide into my apartment and this is why I was feeling so odd. If I had fallen asleep, if I had allowed myself to close my eyes, would I have woken? CO was obviously flooding my apartment by now. It was a cold day and all the windows and doors were shut. Would I have waken up? Was that voice that kept nudging me to clean dishes (that I could easily have cleaned anytime) trying to save my life? Was this a psychic experience? Nah. I believe I recognized something in what I was physically experiencing and mentally compared it with a checklist of my previous activities. My subconscious red-flagged me that I needed to investigate.
Once I opened the doors and windows and stood outside for 15:00, I felt much better.