There is no competing with the apathetic call of the lazily ignorant.
If you have the slightest bit of curiosity about why people act like they do or why reality unfolds as it does, if you possess curiosity that might lead you to ask the inopportune “why,” be prepared to be alone.
The drawback of blogging and reading other blogs is that you fall into this masturbatory trap where all your most piercing, complex questions are greeted by a modicum of warranted attention. However, the real world ain’t like the blogosphere. It can be a trying lesson to encounter. One must learn to shift gears when living that thing called “real life” after immersing themselves in this community for a while. Don’t bring that analytical blogosphere mentality with you and attempt to entertain others with your accustomed pensive bullshit and expect a thoughtful consideration that you might otherwise receive in cyberland. Sadly, most people I know don’t give a crap about my crap and curiosity is one of the most endangered of higher human intellectual traits in society at large. If you bring a prying and inquisitive curiosity that cuts like a knife solely within the confines of this slice of the blog culture to the world at large, it’s best to expect that its edge will be blunted and dulled by the rough mentality of mass culture.
The other day I accidentally brought along my blog mentality to a real world situation and realized just how incompatible this cyberlife is with the ignorant and uncurious blindness of everyday life.
I was sitting around with a couple of women. Let’s not get any more specific for I need to protect certain facets and identities in my life or risk raining wrath down on certain tense and unfriendly situations. Let’s just say I was sitting around talking with a couple of chicks. One of them is your typical attention whore slash ghetto broad whose life has been colored behind the incurious fence of a self-involved life spent languishing in the personal squallor of bad choices and the devouring pit of horrendously undisciplined motives. In other words, she has always chosen the path of least resistance, the easy way out. Lazy. Intellectually, physically, emotionally. We got to talking about a common acquaintance who has been difficult to bear lately for a variety of reasons. This acquaintance is one of those types of exhausting people who’s never satisfied or willing to leave some auspicious things be. This person inevitably responds to all manners of sincere conscientiousness with half-hearted pleas of thanklessness cloaked behind further questions or quips that barely recognize the aforementioned sacrifice or fulfillment of duty. You know…nothing is ever good enough. That script. Anyways, this mutal acquaintance has been making life hell for my little ghetto friend who has begun spewing venom and awesome amounts of feminine vitriol. I, being the analytical (to a fault) nerd, try to dissect everything dispassionately and scientifically. I don’t allow my emotions to run rampant. And I fail to realize this is not the Way of man. So while this chick I was speaking to easily and effortlessly unleashes anger and blind judgement without an ounce of curiosity to temper her derision, I can’t help but lapse into a logical deconstruction of our mutual acquaintance’s behavior.
“I wonder why she’s like that,” I wondered. “I wonder if she was raised in a home where she learned this behavior. I bet her parents never expressed thanks or pride in her accomplishments…” I found myself fully involved in this stream of psychological dissection. I was utterly lost in my investigative train of thought and not prepared to deal with a “lesser” mind…
“I’ll tell you what, she’a a bitch, that’s all,” said the woman in a dismissive tone.
She discounted and reduced my ponderous examination with the swift and causal disregard of the unthinking and incurious. To not think is to not care.
Too late, I had committed myself to my thoughts.
I find I’m always too late to recognize these roadblocks of emotional ignorance.