The Self-Professed Lord Of Culture

You know, contrary to what most conservative, cultural Nazis may believe, Hollywood is generally populated by friendly, down-to-earth people whose attractive and repulsive traits tend to mirror that of society as a whole. I’m talking “below the line” of course…celebrities are another matter, as many of them are truly repugnant elitists and worthless clowns. I’ve worked in the “Industry” for many years and most folks I’ve encountered are pleasant and friendly. Many aren’t, but that’s fine. They are no worse than the worst of the litter I’d find in any other business sector.

In my line of work I come in contact (almost predominantly by telephone) with various people who are interspersed at various levels of production which result in the audience being able to see their names crawl by in the opening and ending credits of theatrical features and television shows. Despite their name ostensibly being “in the lights,” many are freshly friendly and approachable.

Unfortunately, once in a while…one will slither out of the woodwork, and due to his behavior and affectations, taints the popular perception we hold of “Hollywood people.” There is one “gentleman” who has recently surfaced at work…he’s intermittently been involved in show biz for over a decade in various guises and I’ve worked on his crap and walked the same hallways as him in previous years and one thing I can safely say is that he is the archetypal self-obsessed Hollywood prick. The dude is one shade lighter than pure dark evil. I am tempted, but will not cough up his name or even the garbage he churns out. I value my job enough that I’d like to keep it for at least another couple of years. His name is not a household item but his product is. I find his work boring and repetitious and it has become a caricature of itself, but it sells and it garners audiences so his name is gold. But he’s a lunatic. A lunatic who churns out the same pap which continues to attract fame in spite of itself.

In spite of the normal, halfway tolerable, show biz crowd I deal with, there are always these unbearable types I call the Self-Professed Lords of Culture.

You know them. They are plagued by the “self-.”

Self-obsessed, self-important, and artistically self-righteous. They march around oozing an air of cultural superiority and they would like to have you believe they alone are shaping the cultural heritage of society. They harbor a sweet delusion that they are actually contributing shit which can be construed as “worthy” but which unfortunately is pure garbage to those with individualistic mentalities and who are prone to question and examine and think. It is superficial, sophomoric crap which parades by masses of non-thinking pop culture consumers behind the mask of great intellectual note. The sheep nod and concur and the Gatekeepers take note of these watchers and consumers and continue to inspire and propel their dense idiocy by feeding them a revolving door/platter of continuous cultural garbage. And our Self-Professed Lords Of Culture continue to soak in the gentle tug of ego stroking which further fans the flames of their self-obsession.

Once the Self-Professed Lord Of Culture attains a noteworthy level of popularity, he immediately integrates the notion of fame as a valid indicator of the timelessly enduring nature of his hollow contribution. The Lord who has been haunting the place I work at is the worst sort of ghoul imaginable. He indulges in all the self-conscious mystical bullshit befitting a Hollywood elite and his body of work is intellectually vapid garbage cloaked behind an intriguingly mysterious mindfulness which appeals to those who find the Novel and the Unusual proxies for cerebral innovation. The stuff he churns out mimics its previous incarnation with different names, situations and plots, but the only thing which never changes is his merciless sadistic ego which delights in making life hell for all involved in bringing his crap to life. He is rarely dealt with directly; instead he chooses to surround himself with a revolving and renewing army of minions who seem brainwashed by his virulent appraisal of the outside world and who begin mimicking his ire.

Most tragic and disgusting is the willingness with which our society bows devotedly to his artistic detritus.
And thus, the Self-Professed Lord Of Culture is further emboldened to produce and treat people like dogs; the sycophantic nature of the show biz mentality devotes itself to perpetuating his illusory and ill-deserved fame.