What does this mean. How do I interpret it. Is it flattering? Or not?
At the Vons supermarket on Saturday. Buy some stuff, deal out some coupons, save a few bucks, the cashier rings me up swiftly and efficiently. These grocery cashier folks are worth the big bucks man, swiping that shit like a magician flips through cards.
Yes I’m vaguely impressed…but the bagger steals my attention and curiosity. A young girl, not unattractive, and to the starved male eye, maybe even a little…cute? Cute, the anti-sex word. Describe a girl as cute and you are condemning her to sisterhood, or even more grotesquely, daughterhood. Blah.
Soooo…in my illustrious (questionably) life I’ve seen it all when it comes to women. I’ve received leering and unabashedly sexual eye contact (boing boing boing), the bells go off, it’s like winning a fucking game show. She would do you. No question about it. Her eyes tell the story.
And…there are the times women have basically yawned in my face and made it a point of dramatically demonstrating disinterest. They can’t trouble themselves to even waste the energy to focus their eyes on me. If you feel like a pauper from the gutter sheathed in dirty clothes, good, that’s about the effect the bitch wanted to inflict on you by virtue of her ignoring your pathetic ass.
But Saturday. WTF?
WTF is this?
Obviously this is just a photo I nabbed off the web, but it’s the best approximation I could come up with that most accurately convey Ms. Vons’ cock-eyed stare. At least she smiled. Problem was, I couldn’t tell if she was smiling at me. Was she looking at me? Her eyes seemed to look at me, but not! It was like those damn eery paintings that hang in your grandparent’s house with the strange eyes that you swear are following you around. They are eyes painted by a painter in a distant time and land but they follow you! They friggin move. Well that is how this bagger chick made me feel on Saturday. She was smiling at me…or any of the other dozen people milling around the cashier lines. It was impossible to tell.
What I really wanted to know most of all…was her inability to look me directly in the eye the result of a physiological problem or an emotional problem?
If it was physical, I might as well just stop writing now. But…if it was emotional or avoidant, why? Do I have that affect on this shy young girl? Is that a good thing?
Do we strive to intimidate?
Intimidation is good…I suppose. I don’t know what to think anymore. Doesn’t mean I’ll stop.