Vive la gender difference

Hey man so honestly, what is the deal. Why does everyone need to understand the opposite gender? Why all the effort?

If we aren’t tearing our hair out trying to understand them, then we are beaming in delight at the illusion that we are one of the few who actually understand the opposite race. It’s all a racket, man. There is no understanding them. There is no understanding.

None at all.
And why should we?
What purpose would it serve?
We are different creatures. Through and through.

It amazes me that in spite of our common and historic human lineage, men and women are truly nothing alike. At all.

Physically, emotionally, intellectually…we might as well be alien races.

We are born of different zygotes and the differences only compound with age. Different hormones, different organs, different instinctual and evolutionary mentality…is it even possible for us, having spent our entire life in a body of our gender and reacting to the world through the eyes of our gender, driven by the primal forces in our psyche which dictate our gender-based behaviors, to ever have the slightest concept of what it’s like to be a member of the opposite sex?

Hell no. No easier than it would be for us to truly understand what it would be like to be a dog for one day. We can guess, we can construct bizarre realities and viewpoints and try to “walk in their shoes,” but you know what is missing? The reality. We can never grasp the depth of involvement required for absolute understanding of that existence.

So you just go right ahead and boast about how you understand the opposite sex and how you allegedly know them better than they know themselves. Keep on fooling yourself, you don’t know jack.

So back to my original point. Why does everyone feel compelled to understand the opposite sex?
Why do men need to understand women? And vice versa?
What’s the purpose?
I would even propose that there is a danger in understanding the opposite sex too well.
This natural gap, this moat, this chasm which has separated us from time immemorial, serves a purpose. It demarcates, it defines. Don’t we need that definition?

We should revel in the differences. We should celebrate them, enjoy them, breathe them. Rejoice in that which distinguishes man from woman. And woman from man. Embrace it.

Do not fear it or flee it.
That is the precursor to the state of confusion that leaves you grasping for a bumbling understanding of the opposite sex.

Personally, I have absolutely no desire to understand women. To understand how or why they think like they do, or act like they do, or any of the other millions of things they do differently. The difference, the vast gulf between Man and Woman is charged with a visceral tension that leaves me gasping for more. I welcome it and worship it.

I don’t want to understand it because then, just maybe, the magic would disappear.

So when I tell men to avoid heeding female advice in the realm of courtship, I’m saying so for the man’s benefit and because I’m ashamed for him. I’m ashamed for the fact that in seeking a woman’s opinion about his girlfriend or wife or crush, he is relinquishing something important, something crucial to his manhood. Control.

For the woman’s advice is ill-fated. A woman can never know a man’s heart, cannot comprehend his needs and deepest animalistic urges and instincts. The same goes for women. Ignore and do not seek a man’s advice when it comes to other men. We haven’t the slightest clue how to handle a boyfriend. We know how to handle buddies, we understand male camaraderie…but that’s it. Sorry.

At one point you must learn to relinquish control and let the chips fall where they may.
Trying to understand the opposite sex is the most futile task you can undertake. It’s like reading the last page before you begin reading the book.

The sooner you come to accept and even relish the difference and unpredictabilities of the other sex, the sooner you will find a sense of oneness in their presence.

I don’t understand how women arrive at most of their conclusions. I don’t know why they prioritize certain things and disdain others. I don’t know why they act certain ways in certain situations….

But I know I wouldn’t have it any other way. If women were completely understandable to me, I’d lose interest very fast.

I love women.
I love the way everything they do is just so fucking foreign to me!
I love their bizarre and capricious attitudes and their maddening traits.
Women are great and they are flawed. Just like men.
We all trudge along this common human path doing our best. We have the final say in who makes our life miserable.


Or them.

I’ll leave that one to the misogynist.
He is the one who is frustrated and distraught at his inability to understand women.
He is the one who has never learned to not care to understand.
The one who has never learned to conquer the unknown by embracing it.

7 Replies to “Vive la gender difference”

  1. True understanding between two people of any gender, race or disposition can be difficult. But when you find someone who understands you and whom you just “get” on that deep level, you’ll also understand what people have been seeking. Yes, it’s a paradox.

  2. Wow! Sometimes reading the comments between the two of you is like watching a cock fight. Only no danger of splattering blood.

  3. Yes, that is why you are still happily married. OOPS! My bad! You are an unhappily divorced drunk!

  4. Yes. Is that not how it happened with you Mr. Phoenixism? A good relationship between a man and a woman is for each to be willing to give up some control. I am still a slob, but I at least try to make an effort to change. I am not all against making some change in my life. The reason men ask women is because we do not want to make the wrong move, so to speak. Anyhow, another stellar post. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!

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