I must say.
I met her in June. I was bored. Or something. I succumbed to impulse.
So I thought I’d “change it up” for a bit. In fact, I thought I might just let you go since our annual marriage contract is up for renewal this Fall, so it would be the perfect opportunity to let Social Extinction fold, at last.
My new blog is a fine woman but she is not as edgy or exciting as you, and furthermore, she is a bit plain. But edginess does creep in occasionally. Thing is…you see…thing is, she knows my real name. There are no secrets between us. Whatever I write on her is openly traceable to me and I own each word there openly and defiantly. So it follows, because of this, that I cannot be as blatantly offensive as i am here, on your luscious pages; that other blog lives in a straight-edged normie wasteland of slightly left-of-center sentient knuckleheads. I am a stranger in a strange land there. Rest assured, I do not temper my conservatism and readers know where I stand. The difference is that I exude a reasonable persona there. I don’t yell, I don’t ridicule (cheaply) and I attempt to refute in a calm-mannered tone without resorting to names or inflammatory verbosity.
Honey, I propose an “arrangement.”
I have hesitations about my original plan of abandoning you. I’ve decided I’d like to keep you around. There is too much going on in the world at the moment. A lot. I feel as if we have reached a pinnacle in social and cultural evolution and what better time to run an anonymous blog than now?
My proposition: I will use you, we will remain first loves.
I will visit you when I wish to lambast with words that would wilt iron. I need you. But that other blog…she is sweet. She is peaceful and she provides a sense of succor that is inarguable. And she is my pathway into normieland, that deep burrow where I can insert my mad sense of truth and reason into the tendrils of the rancid unthinking beast of plastic civility that is swallowing up the vibrancy and innovation of a modern culture too obsessed with feelings and sensitivities to be worth a damn.
My new blog gives me the “in” and this is the position where I can wreak the most havoc.
(Part 2) will appear later this week. I will touch upon specifics and their effect on the outward presentation of Social Extinction. Most importantly, I will explain the strategy whereby I will maintain 2 blogs which shall never know of each other <eyeroll>. And in part 2 I will not resort to this sappy metaphorical lovey-dovey language.