Monkey business in Florida.

Sometimes it seems to me that the nature of offense we take, and the measure of our sensitivities to said offense, are actually more hilarious and demeaning than the purported offense itself.


Let me give you a real-world application of this suspicion that is currently playing out in our national theater of the absurd, otherwise known as “politics.”

Ron DeSantis, Florida’s Republican Gubernatorial candidate, “stepped in it” during a Fox interview this morning. He was “guilty” of using some loose racial double entendre and the typical Concern Crowd has been up in arms all day over his words which they have minced with all the whiny fortitude the Concerners can muster.


Republican candidate for governor Ron DeSantis said Wednesday morning that Florida shouldn’t “monkey this up” by electing Democrat Andrew Gillum in November.

Gillum is Florida’s first black nominee for governor.

Speaking on Fox News, DeSantis also called Gillum an “articulate spokesman” for the far-left.

There is a long history of black Americans being referred to as “monkeys” as a racial slur. “Articulate” is also a common dog whistle that preys on negative stereotypes that black people do not speak well.


Uh, OK.

Do the aggrieved actors in this hackneyed script fail to realize that they protest too much against obvious allegorical allusions; allusions everyone knows are understandable (regardless of validity) and not far-fetched, but which are plainly too rancid to utter in civil discourse while retaining your health.

They spend so much time crying that they must not be likened to monkeys and that to be called “articulate” simply implies that the typical Black speaker, even public figures, frequently sound like raging idiots whose English is barely recognizable behind slurred grunts and hoarse mumbles.

If anything, these “dog whistles” merely serve to dryly and cynically illustrate the valid stereotypes they condemn. The triggering such statements inspire are deserving of more guffaws than they deserve.  Behind this facade of concern and polite deferral, gritty reality lives in the trenches of slurs.

Here is DeSantis’ full quote from his Fox interview:


“Florida elections are always competitive. And this is a guy who, although he’s much too liberal for Florida, I think he’s got a huge problems with how he’s governed Tallahassee. You know, he is an articulate spokesman for those far-left views. He’s a charismatic candidate. And you know I watched those Democrat debates, none of that was my cup of tea, but I mean he performed better than the other people there, so we’ve got to work hard to make sure we continue Florida going in a good direction. Let’s build off the success we’ve had under Governor Scott. The last thing we need to do is to monkey this up by trying to embrace a socialist agenda with huge tax increases, and bankrupting the state. That is not gonna work, that’s not gonna be good for Florida. So, I’m going to fight for what I believe in because I think I’m the guy who can really lead Florida in a good direction.”


And those poor monkeys!

What did they do to deserve this? Apparently, given the righteous, social re-invention which the Victim Left is capable of summoning, we will soon reach a cultural pinnacle in which all allusions to monkeys (and all primates, surely) will be disallowed due to their striking and unfortunate adjacency to African phenotypes.

All things “monkey” will be purged from the English language due to pain and anguish the existence of our primate cousins confers on Black people.

Barrel of monkeys? Out.
Monkeying around? Out!
Monkey wrench? Gone.
Monkey on your back? Off with ye!