Up with the sun, gone with the wind
She always said I was lazy
Leavin’ my home, leavin’ my friends
Runnin’ when things get too crazy
Out to the road, out ‘neath the stars
Feelin’ the breeze, passin’ the cars
-”Travelin’ Man”, Bob Seger
In spite of itself, cyberspace does a fair job of representing Real Life, for the most part.
For instance, I seem to flit about, neighborhood to neighborhood, acquainting myself with various fringes of the blogosphere, while never bothering to stay for long or invest myself too heavily in any group.
That is also my nature in real life. I’m a wanderer at heart.
Not a wanderer in the physical, hobo embodiment, hitching rides on trains and carrying a stick with my belongings stuffed in a bag attached. No, no, not that kind of wanderer. I have a job, a family…I have some roots. I am a wanderer of the soul and what better place to live that out than in the cybercommunity.
Only in cyberspace can I act out my sense of aloofness and wanderlust without ever having to leave my apartment. I can dabble a little here, a little there…wherever the mood strikes.
I’m amazed (not in a harsh way) at how much some people invest in the workings and social structure of the their cyberhood. I think it’s great (for them). I suppose I could somehow work and twist this into a state of misery tormenting my own existence.
Maturity. One aspect of maturity, a building block of it, is the ability to recognize what you are and what you aren’t.
And what I’m not: a “joiner.” A “belonger.”
I’m content to pass through, make some very superficial acquaintances, and watch as other “normal-minded” people indulge in their social and community-minded endeavors. I watch in awe as each distinct community glows with a vibrant bustle while its “members” chat and laugh and trade experiences and stories, squabble, argue, offend, defend.
What is it. Fear? Avoidance?
I’m not shy, not in the least. I’m a shameless flirt and I’m able to entertain people and make them laugh. I simply can’t take too much of them. And in order to live out that requirement, I pick and choose when I immerse myself in social life. In small doses and when I’m in the mood. My filters are set on fine and I let very, very few people through. It’s an awfully selfish and self-absorbed manner of living, I will admit. But it’s me.
The sense I wish to impart is that I do not look on others with scorn. I am very happy with my life. Only the unhappy and bitter and envious are capable of scorn. I am not. I accept that there are segments of society who do not share my values and I can also accept that contrasting values can co-exist in an environment of openness and non-judgementality. On my part that is. My part is the only one that counts. For myself. I can’t worry about other’s views of my behavior. And I don’t. I’m the ruler of my world and only my world. I have no say in other worlds, and other worlds have no say in my own.
And until the day I finally have the ability and freedom to rip my roots from the ground and wander the physical countryside as befits my restless soul, I will find contentment in traipsing along the cyberrailroad.