Donald Trump made no one crazy.


It was only after reading this article from NY Mag, about the 10,000th instance I’ve heard, since November 8, of that incessant parade of bleating bitches and their Trump anguish and that ceaseless and unbelievable collective kiddie tantrum stemming from the harsh life lesson that you can’t always get what you want, that I realized something about this cultural neighborhood of whoredom.


Donald Trump’s election is not making, has not made, anyone crazy. Donald Trump’s election has done nothing to plant the roots of insanity in American culture. You know what’s happened? He’s loosened, jarred free, the insanity that has been lying latent in our collective soul for decades.


Americans are insane, always have been.


We hide it behind the artificiality of our cemented national status quo spell; when all is predictable, we subdue our insanity with predictable distractions.


Those distractions are gone, pilfered, by the election of a revolutionary figurehead who will no longer humor national tokens of distraction and pacification. It’s a new world, baby. Time to cut that hair!



For the past 20 years, Julianna Evans, the director of marketing for the Lumberyard, a contemporary performing-arts company based in New York City, has had the same flowing brown locks. Her stylist in her hometown of Washington, D.C., has been trimming her hair every 12 months for as long as she can remember, and always colors it the same medium-brown shade. Then came the November 8 election upset, and Evans fell into a downward spiral. “I cried for three days,” the Atlanta native, 45, recalls. “I felt like it was the worst thing, politically, that ever happened in my lifetime. It was catastrophic.” By Friday she noticed grays growing in, so she put on her big-girl panties and dragged herself to the drugstore. “Literally without thinking, I grabbed the Natural Black box by Garnier,” she says. “I was like, f** it! The election deadened my soul. I think I wanted to do something defiant to feel stronger.”



“When you see that much blonde hair on the floor, you know something is going on,” says Nicole Butler, creative director and master colorist at Daniel’s Salon in Dupont Circle. During the notoriously slow month of November, her salon received a startling number of bookings, with at least three women a day sitting in her chair and asking for a drastic change, like cutting off six inches, going black, or going platinum. “Usually stuff like this is planned for weeks and put on the books after several consultations, but this was very spontaneous,” Butler says. “It was like a mass declaration of independence.” Clients, especially those over 40, expressed a feeling of loss and uncertainty, says Butler. “Maybe this is some kind of compensation for not getting what we wanted in the election. By changing our hair, we can control the outcome.”





We live in an insane nation. The insanity hid, disguised by conspicuous American consumption and ignorance. The blinders, now removed, and the insanity has been set free.  Unleashed.


Donald Trump made no one crazy.