Ramblings of a fat capitalist pig

I can’t resist, I must announce my New Year’s resolution here and now.
Sincerely do. I will devote every bit of energy towards making this resolution reach fruition.

I will take money more seriously.

I will begin to follow in the footsteps of modern man and commit my life to the blind and obsessive quest of the mighty dollar at the utter and shameless expense of my soul.

Beginning January 1, 2010.

Simple as that.

I realize I have not taken money seriously enough.

This has led me to make some questionable decisions:

-The purchase of non-designer clothing from general purpose stores that sell everything you could want in addition to clothes.
-Packing my lunch daily and foregoing the pleasure of greasy, salty fast food dining, or in other cases, the pricey displeasure of a bowl overflowing with lettuce and dotted with smelly cheese.
-Eating leftovers on a daily basis, some of which have been cultivating quietly in the back of my fridge. Out of sight, out of mind.
-Choosing to drive an 11-year-old car with floor carpeting that has slowly been stripped bare, revealing the metallic innards of the car frame.
-The gutting of my cable TV package leaving me with the bare minimum free channel package that is piped in by a cable directly to my television. A cable that is nothing but a highfalutin antenna, because once again, I refuse to spend money on a digital converter because I’ve resisted the urge to spend money on a hi-def TV which I consider an absolute waste since I don’t watch TV.

These fishy quirks of mine will slowly begin to vanish this weekend.

Money will commence to rule my life. I will seek it lustfully just like you, and him, and her, and all’s of you; all you money-crazed consumerist nuts who would gladly cough up a valuable organ (the kind that come in pairs) if it meant you could earn a few million bucks doing it.

Money will once again rule my life.
That is my New Year’s resolution.

First step in this direction: you may begin seeing (gulp) ads on this blog. Yep. Advertisements.

I didn’t start this blog with the intention of making money. Not in the least. And don’t be fooled. I still have no intention of making money. Ads! Whatever. Hey, it’s not like I’m going to rename this “Phoenixi$m” and start coordinating some big ad campaign. Ha!

Who am I fooling.

I’ll be happy to make enough every couple of months to buy a pack of gum, or if things really begin to look up, maybe a (small) cup of black coffee from Starbucks.

I do this for the pure pleasure, baby. Writing and exposing my inner life and its assorted demons to a multitude of distracted blog readers. It doesn’t get any better than that.

The simple act of clicking on that “publish” button is reward in itself.


If I can make a few cents for really doing nothing other than decorating my blog with small and tasteful (please let it be) banners, why not? I never claimed to be an anti-capitalist, did I?

I’ll be honest…I think there could be nothing more incredibly satisfying than earning a living solely off a blog. But barring that little pipe dream, I’m just happy to have access to this medium that allows me to express each thought in my own occasionally erratic and hyperactive manner.

So really, I’m taking this moment to announce that I am slightly selling out for the sake of a bi-monthly pack of Big Red, and that money as a reward is the furthest thing on my mind when it comes to this little blog project of mine.

My New Year’s resolution…not happening. Never intended it. That was an early April Fool’s joke.

But the ads…no joke.