I will officially support Donald Trump*, and this is why.


I’ve never had the most flattering things to say about Donald Trump. In fact, I’ve had choice words for his ruffian, anti-intellectualism and soulless lack of character.


And none of this has changed, but, I am announcing, reticently, that I will support Donald Trump in his bid for President of the United States in the 2016 election.


I will support Donald Trump, the political rabble-rouser.


I will support that Godforsaken hair mop and the incessant trigger-happy stream of schoolyard provocation that pours out his mouth insofar as it clears out the staid, immutable political quagmire that has become American politics.


I support Donald Trump, the catalyst to action and awareness on the part of those so blind, they don’t know of the other world we, their humble constituents, live in. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that any action is better than none.


I do not support Donald Trump, the person, the politician, the P.T. Barnum lowest-common-denominator entertainer. I do not support the superficial, sloganeering, materialistic hedonist. I do not support the hot-aired figurehead and pop culture utilitarian whore and psychological manipulator whose only bottom line is Donald Trump and his nausea-inducing bling persona.


American politics has become a disjointed morass of Establishment perpetuation and PR timidity and blandness. Conformity suffocates innovation, the trailblazing spirit that sustained and gave rise to the early days of our republic. Modern American politics is populated and driven by blank-eyed talking heads devoid of spirit and character and courage, and most of all, devoid of originality and individualism.


What the hell is America if you don’t have leaders capable of such character?


The American political world is a repressed, elitist swarm of insulated symbols in smart suits who do the bidding of the 1%-ers which involves implementing and supporting policy largely adverse to the well-being of most Americans. American politicians smile at us, beg for our allegiance, but feel absolutely no compunction about selling our dignity and sovereignty down the river once the bankers and corporate elites come knocking and demanding inequality for the sake of superficial egalitarianism.


Donald Trump is a billionaire showman who, innately, is no different. I expect nothing to change, in terms of federal policy, but I do expect that, should he become POTUS, there will be a sea change of alterations of the cloistered political mentality that subsumes the hallways of Washington D.C. In familiar parlance, his chaotic, ghetto presence (and Donald Trump is the ultimate ghetto politician) will “stir up things” in the national capitol and perhaps, this is a good thing.


My support of Donald Trump will be restrained and barely perceptible.


I will not be one of those sloganeering armchair cultists who never, from the narrow hallways of their cerebrum, seem to tire of repeating, “Can’t Stump The Trump,” or worse yet, “Make America Great Again.” I’m pulling for Trump the disruptor, Trump the tool of disorder, the drunken party-crasher who clears out the room and overturns the social rules of engagement in a culture that has long followed its own social rules to the detriment of average Americans.


That said, I will continue, gladly and gleefully, to mock Donald Trump for all his egregious displays of cringeworthy boorishness. And I expect there will be many more of my dreadful photoshopped representations coming down the pike.


After all, Donald Trump is still…Donald Trump.


*I’m sure my support means so much to Donald. Or at the very least, he is mortified by the thought.