What a ridiculous, recursive wail.
But then I remember humbly that much of the internet, especially the net-sector I’m citing, is populated by young, unsure and inexperienced boys who are still defining their life, their existence, and elaborating on doubts. Fighting through the oppressive stranglehold placed on masculinity in our glorious evolved age.
In a word, growing.
Self-discovery is the fuel of self-growth; vulnerability is the fuel of self-discovery.
One must not judge harshly. Succumb to this which we seek to break through.
One does not simply and willingly become “not narcissistic.”
In fact, the very act of self-awareness is narcissistic. In defining yourself as a person, as a mind, as a soul, there appears unfettered narcissism in itself. If you have human consciousness, you are a narcissist.
Narcissism is an outgrowth of the dialogue we privately entertain with our ego throughout the day, the waking day. At sleep, narcissism burgeons as dreams and fantasy. The more you speak to your ego, the more trust and power you place in its hands, the greater your level of narcissism. As such, accept that you are a narcissist. Shamelessly admit that you are a conscious human entity; embrace this awareness and all that it implies. This self-consciousness is your strength and your downfall.
Accept this self-consciousness but do not be guided or manipulated by it.
The moment you must ask “how do I not be a narcissist?” you have lost the battle.
You must sneak upon this existential enigma by traipsing the dark shadows of your mindful lucid habitation. Train yourself in the moment, and in this moment, allow purity, the immaculate tendrils of absolute void, to diffuse your self-awareness from itself.
Ultimately, narcissism is that which you are fleeing. Narcissism is the signpost you encounter on the path of escape from base existence. Do you choose the path unbounded by egotistical doubts and charades? Or do you choose the path that is never sure of itself, the path which seeks constant direction and retribution?
Step, the first: do not consider narcissism, do not articulate it. Let it linger, unseen and unacknowledged, on the fringes of your mind. Both known; but unknown. This is how one begins to conquer narcissism.
By light, incremental disavowal.