A retrospective: when Donald Trump donated most of his brain and became POTUS.

 

2016

 

The birth of Jaxon Buell took the internet by storm.

 

The baby, born on August, 27, 2014, in Florida, was afflicted with microhydranencephaly, a rare condition in which most of the cranium is “missing” – in Jaxon’s case, about 80 percent of his brain was missing.

 

It took the parents, Brandon and Brittany Buell, almost a year of medical consultations to discover the name and nature of their young son’s condition.

 

Microhydranencephaly is disabling, but nevertheless, the child can be expected to survive a long time, and with his parent’s love and devotion, the quality of life can be quite good.

 

 

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Within a week and a half, they were able to fit us into very busy schedules. We finally received a diagnosis: microhydranencephaly.

 

It is 100 percent accurate of who Jaxon is. Before their first birthday, these children normally go through an extreme fit of fussiness. If they’re able to survive it, they’ll settle down and they’re able to communicate with immediate family. Some children with microhydranencephaly lasted all the way to their 30s.

 

It really put us at ease, especially after he started calming down. He was sleeping through the night again; he was happy, smiling at us; learning how to say mama and dada. He’s truly interacting and responding.

 

We want people to know: Jaxon is not on life support, he’s not struggling and he’s not uncomfortable. He’s actually learning, thriving and getting a little better each and every day. It’s absolutely remarkable.

 

He can see. His vision may be fuzzy or maybe he can’t see colors, we just don’t know that yet.

 

His hearing is excellent. When we read books to him, he listens and he looks at the pages. He loves music.

 

There’s so much light and life in his eyes that we see when he responds to something.

 

He absolutely recognizes me and my wife. He loves to smile at us. I swear, he’s the sweetest baby we’ve ever met because he’s always in a good mood, unless he’s teething. He snuggles with us so close.

 

Donald Trump, touched by the baby’s story, and in a last-ditch effort to rekindle his dubious altruism and dodgy sense of warmth and humanity, made an unprecedented offer to Jaxon and his parents: he would donate a large portion of his skull to the infant. If the transplant succeeded, Jaxon’s life prospects might be increased, however minutely.

 

It was the most selfless gesture the American public had ever witnessed on the part of a public figure and Donald Trump, a saint among saints, was a shoe-in for the Presidency, and better yet…he showed no ill effects after surrendering 75% of his brain!

 

Young Jaxon, days after receiving Trump’s donated cerebellum:

 

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And President Trump, coyly displaying his more representative cranial capacity.

 

 

They're all dimwits and rapists. I'm President now!! They are all gone (once Congress tells me it's OK)
They’re all dimwits and rapists. I’m President now!! They are all gone (once Congress tells me it’s OK)