[anal repression on]…the travails of conversate.

There are two types of grammar Nazi in this world.

You have the whiny, annoying loudmouths who must correct all linguistic errors with a dramatic, ostentatious flourish. “Look at me, hear my anal repression roar! I know proper English,” they pontificate.

And then you have the resigned types, those of who have thrown in the towel and realize that the innate state of people, especially on modern social media, is to not care much about how they present their thoughts, and consequently, portray a lackluster practice of the written language.

I belong to the latter group. I don’t even pretend to try any more. Once in a while, if I’m in a good, playful mood (rare), I’ll “josh” someone over a misspelling, but even then, it’s from a goofy place and there is very little obvious castigation or judgment on my part.

Otherwise, I rarely take the time and effort to sincerely correctly people’s bad writing habits with the illusive expectation that I’m actually making a difference. I see such bad English everywhere, from the supposedly intelligentsia at work to the ghetto humdrum refuse on Facebook. Badly written English is now a way of life. It is not a differentiating factor between socioeconomic classes because the plague is equally distributed across all facets of society. Yesterday, a managerial type at work sent an email asking to meet in order to get a “gage” on how another department was performing (or not). I cringed while enthusiastically replying, “Sure!”

It’s everywhere, it’s awful.

I’m waving the white grammar flag. White, Black, Hispanic, Asian, poor, rich…everyone is equally idiotic in the realm of written language.

This morning I saw a recurring English travesty on my Facebook wall. It is one of the worst inaccurate representations of a word out there and its torment is amplified because it is repeated over and over and in all sectors of spoken and written language. It is the dreaded “C” word: conversate.


I first heard this grammatical disaster years ago. I had a Black buddy who was fond of throwing it out there when talking about chicks and hitting them up, and “conversating” with them.

I thought the words was ugly then, and it’s ugly now. Very ugly. And most of the time the speaker/writer is Black. It has an “ebonics” feel to it, but I’ve seen many educated, working Blacks use it as well.

The horror of the word is exacerbated by the fact that its proper form is actually shorter and easier on the tongue, but still people insist on prolonging it for the sake of using the incorrect form.

I’m done.

[anal repression off]