A nanny is born (in SoCal, by way of D.C.)

So this hysterical do-gooder from Washington D.C., Jolina Cuaresma, was in the Southern California mountains on a hike with her brother this past weekend. She had the misfortune of watching as 20-year-old Eric Pederson longboarded downhill by her, just moments before accidentally crossing a double yellow line and plowing head on into a dump truck driving up the mountain. Her overwrought dramatics have been all over the local news recently.

At first you think, yeah, whatever, she’s traumatized. But it quickly became tired and a little too dramatic. Syrupy.

Look, skateboarders, especially adult longboarders of the downhill variety, know the dangers, and frankly, Pederson probably died doing what he “loved.” I watched this video clip and it all fell into sickening place just before the 2:00 mark. The text story refers to Cuaresma as an attorney, but later the video clarifies that she is a “federal regulatory attorney” and now, owing to witnessing this horrible, horrible, horrible, sob, sob, sob, tragedy, she now thinks our government should enact some new regulations controlling this outlandish, risky skateboarding.

God forbid any more hysterical attention whores must witness such carnage! It seems most government meddling is profuse with such lascivious pools of crocodile tears.

Welcome, my friends, to the genesis of a Federal Nanny. She is one of many. She will wipe your ass for you and make sure you don’t step in it.

Skateboarding is one of the last refuges of masculinity for this feminized generation of boys. This is why histrionic lawyer mother-hens like Jolina Cuaresma seek to put a clamp on it. Listen as she laments her inability to “do anything” to save Pederson and wailing like a child as she shoulders the burden of our collective torment.

This is the face and behavior of our modern government.