In which I offend Blacks, Asians, Tanzanians, rape victims, hillbillies, cockroaches and albinos.

C’mon, this headline begs you to read further, which is the point of headlines, after all. Remember Journalism 101?

Tanzania bans witchdoctors in attempt to end albino killings

Tanzania has banned witchdoctors in an attempt to combat a rise in the killing of people with albinism for their body parts, officials said on Wednesday.

At least 74 people with albinism have reportedly been murdered in the east African country since 2000. After a surge in 2009, the government placed children with albinism in special homes to protect them.

Witchdoctors believe their body parts bring good fortune and wealth. Isaac Nantanga, an interior ministry spokesman, told Agence France-Presse: “These so-called witches bear responsibility for the attacks against albinos.”

albinism Fatu
from The Guardian

Albinism is just weird, weird, weird, unnaturally weird.

It’s creepy.

I don’t care if it’s a hillbilly Banjo-plucking creeper from that watch-Ned-Beatty get ass-raped flick, Deliverance, or if it’s some oddball little white fleck of cockroach that stands out from its trash-munching swarm (actually, these are not albinos in the classic sense, they are merely molting, but still…). Albinism is disconcerting in an evolutionary way.

Albino people, because of their unnatural and inhuman appearance, are the bullied fodder of primitive and ignorant societies (ie, Tanzania) and I would not be surprised if albinos, due to their flagrant discoloration, have been routinely purged through the entirety of mankind’s history. It’s a sort of “conscious Darwinism” that has dispelled this trait from ubiquity (whew!).

And in lower life forms (lower than human), such conspicuous discoloration makes you a more visually inviting morsel for predators. Let’s not fool ourselves though…the human race is full of predators itself, but of the social sort.

And albino Blacks?

Just bizarre, but albino Asians take the White Cake.

albino asian