My lovely diarrheaic dunghole by the water.

This city by the ocean isn’t that great.

The only people defending it are young hipsters with delusional futures worth anything boasting of and over-achieving (in their own minds) herds of hyper-socialized cattlefolk who live their dismaying lives in externalized measures of positively sickening reciprocation.

This is now a city of two worlds. The upper world. Which here, is the show biz world, the pretty world with pretty people, and ugly people with pretty pretensions and incomes to match. This town rewards all the superficiality you can indulge your bubbly futility into vats of…

At the other end, you have the majority, swarms of dirty, freeloading trash suckers who eat at Hometown Buffet even when they aren’t hungry and run over your whole family in their car after spending the night at a bar with a fuzzy Spanish jukebox.

You are fucked in this town.

Unless you’re one of them.

Unless you are one of the prized elites or the scum-sucking lowlifes, there is nothing here for you to see or experience. If you have a mind and a conscience and an iota of desperate self-respect, this is no country for you. Do not squander the excellence here. Those who do not shine or tarnish are alienated in this landscape, this city by the sea, this shining metropolis that must be scorched and depopulated once and for all (don’t tell BO I said that).

Do not come to my town unless you have no brains with a soul to match. There is no other way to prosper in this bucket of egomania. This is a Third World junction to the Pacific Ocean, my friends. If you value your own precious humanity, why bother?

Null deal.

There are local blogs that celebrate this rambling shit-hole that spans hundreds of square miles and millions of emotional indigents. They defend the town at all costs. When they receive praise, they wet themselves like smug little pajamaboys. When they are criticized, they become defiant and clannish and the spears of bitchiness protrude from beneath those sheer yoga pants. Those who defend this large municipality are fond of generalizing about those who openly hate it. If you hate it, you are a right-wing, racist, homophobe Nazi. Say one bad thing about this sprawling diarrheaic simmering pond by the water and will be instantly type-cast as a xenophobe (even though I’m Mexican). My town has become the fulcrum between political Left and Right. How did this happen?

There is no room for constructive criticism about almighty here. Everyone here, in their overgrown beards and self-important iPhones, must obey the 1st commandment of living in such glittery squalor: though shalt not speak evil of this vile geographical trollop.

This town is heralded by all manner of fanboys. They will stop you in your tracks.

Be nice to…my diarrheaic dunghole.

this town must be adored