Why do White people keep falling to their death?

What is with White people falling and dying?!

Seems every time I read the news, yet another White person is plummeting to his or her death. And of course, tonight, I was not disappointed, yet again.

A man died Monday after falling about 65 feet from upper level stands at a baseball game in Atlanta, authorities said.
The incident occurred shortly before 9 p.m. EDT during a game between the Atlanta Braves and Philadelphia Phillies at Turner Field, Atlanta Police spokesman John Chafee told NBC News.
The man was transported to Atlanta Medical Center where he later died from his injuries.
Investigators said it is unclear what caused the fall, but believe it was an accident.
The man fell from an upper level platform unto a secure lot outside the stadium, according to police.

Now frankly, I’m indulging in a bit of blind assumption here because the victim hasn’t been identified. Yet, my cyber-profiling prowess tells me this guy was White. Only White people seem to fall from the stupidest places.

In the same manner, we can guess, with utmost confidence, that the racially unidentified gang of teenagers who beat up a random hipster in [name any gentrified American locale] was probably composed mostly of Blacks, we can also safely gamble that any person who falls to their death from a really stupid place (like any ledge at a sports stadium, and civilized ledges in general) is probably White. Women falling from high rise railings in New York? Uh yeah, White (sorta).

This falling shtick is a First World problem. That’s what I think. Modern, urban, young White people have no sense of danger because they don’t know danger. This is typified by extending the safety harness of ledges and rickety rusted metal cages to their everyday pampered lives. It’s natural selection on a very small scale. If we do not learn danger, we become weak, ignorant, and worst of all, incautious.

White people have become horribly incautious and this is why they’ve lost control of the United States.

Perhaps it’s a stretch to correlate the deaths of falling White people with American decline, but it’s very appropriate if one truly pays attention.

White people lean too far because no one has taught them that it’s time to stop, and everything falls to shit.