There is the story (perhaps true, likely not) of the blogger who became so convinced of the pervasive nature of BS in human society that he found he was unable to write. Not because he lost the ability or the urge, but because every time he had an idea or opinion he wished to expound on, he’d find himself sitting at the computer while sorting through his thoughts and slowly begin to retreat into a cerebral ping pong game of feuding ideas and the very post he planned on writing was sabatoged and neutralized by all the percolating BS he knew filled anything people touched. All motivation to write was ultimately neutered by the oppressive realization of the purely BS nature of his thoughts, and everyone else’s for that matter. He would invariably end up staring at a blank computer screen until he finally gave up and scooted over to The Onion, a great BS antidote.
This morning I had a work meeting which involved a lot of fluff and…BS.
I thought the meeting would be small so I didn’t dread it. However, when I walked into the conference room, it was packed with all sorts of people and everyone was talking and there was lots of BS filling the room. A real BS buzz. When you have that many people in a room, especially in a casual work environment, there is nothing but BS. People trying to impress and be pleasant and weirdly disconnectedly diplomatic but it’s all loquacious, utter BS. After the meeting began, the usual stream of unproductive BS began and I got bored. People bore me and their BS bores me silly. The seats were deep leather coffins that let you lean back pretty far and while the BS was mounting, I tested the range of the seat while slinking down as far as I could. A guy was talking, a chick, another guy, everyone just talking talking talking talking. BS. I leaned back really far! Those chairs have awesome range. I could see other feet around the outer rim of the table because I was leaning down so far, not quite upskirt low, but low nevertheless. BS, BS, profusely, BS. It is the lifeblood of human civilization. There is nothing but BS. It’s all BS. All of it!
The news media. BS.
Political parties. BS.
Learned professionals. BS.
Bloggers. Definitely BS. Especially this one.
There is too much damn BS. It makes me disengage. I have no urge to participate in this idiot’s charade. I want to slither into my comfy leather chair and let the BS sail across the sky as it dots the rich blue sky with its moldy tan BS shade of decay.
There comes a time in a man’s life when the BS is so oppressive that it saps him of creativity and originality, but worst of all, humanity. He settles into the complacent BS lifestyle of a BS routine that is book-ended by BS left and BS right and any fantasy of escape is immediately extinguished by BS back and BS front. Buried by BS.
Buried up to our neck but we don’t care because we are too fond of BS as a culture. BS is the balm of humanity. BS is the Crisco of human interaction.
Everything is BS and it dies with us because our BS is manifestly disregarded by ensuing generations. Everyone’s BS is better than previous legacies of BS. This we tell ourselves. We know this! We happily disregard and shun the BS that we are heirs to. We reinvent BS and proudly call it wonderfully new, for it is our own, and no one else had a hand in it.
BS dies fruitlessly with each generation and this is why we have laws. Laws are man’s feeble attempt at cementing his BS in parchments of legal tender that must last through all time. Mankind realizes that BS is short-lived, so he codifies it in order to make his BS…eternal.