Condomed Porn

I don’t even watch porn. Clearly not owing to moralistic reasons, either. Believe it or not, porn bores the hell out of me. Of course I went through the customary “pilfer a sneaky peak from dad’s magazines” stage when I was young. I bought a few Playboys and Penthouses in my day. And of course, I watched the customary porn movies (Rambone The Destroyer) but usually it was only because my friends were watching. I never saw the draw or went out of my way to procure said smut on my own. I don’t find porn arousing. Lesbian porn is the best because at least there are no guy’s asses flapping in the camera, but still, it only goes so far.

The internet is the best thing that could have happened for the typical porn connoisseur. It used to be that internet porn was available for a price if I remember correctly. Now it seems a lot of it is available for free in the cyber smut room near you. I find if very hollow. It does nothing for me. I’ve always felt that sitting in front of a porn flick is like watching a cooking show when you have the stomach flu. Why even bother. Unless I’m the leading actor and getting a piece of the supporting cast’s ass, I have no urge to see other people doing what I should be doing.

Consequently, I have a very neutral, slightly utilitarian attitude toward pornography. I don’t buy that it’s harmful or the base scourge that many uptight moralists or feminists preach. My understanding is that the porn industry is self-regulated very tightly. There is a standard of ethics that even porn industry insiders abide by. According to this Guardian article, over 10,000 hardcore porn movies are made in Los Angeles each year. This town is one big porn fest! Probably owing to the presence of traditional mainstream movie production in this town, it makes sense that the subdural porn biz would also fester in the shadows of Hollywood since not all actors and actresses can make it “big” in the mainstream. They might as well use their bodies for something. There is BIG money in porn. It is shady and lucrative and its beneficial effect on the local economy is indisputable. However, Los Angeles, and its mother hen, California, have demonstrated repeatedly that they are clueless in the manner they treat the entertainment industry. Local ordinances and tax burdens efficiently drive away the golden goose that feeds this region. Namely, movie and television production. Throw in the fact that the current state of high-speed digital technology and its shrinking effect on geographical distances means that shooting a movie in Toronto is akin to shooting it down the freeway. Dailies material can be transmitted to Hollywood in almost real time due to enormous data pipelines and processor speed to match.

Essentially, Los Angeles’ economy has been the victim of technology and shortsighted political PC posturing. Public officials are lured into a sense of complacency brought on by the historic stranglehold over movie and television production California has enjoyed for decades. No longer. California is now the needy consumer when it comes to the entertainment industry dynamic. California and Hollywood now must grovel. It’s a reversal of fortune. Other states have learned the power of tax breaks for film productions just as they have learned to inconvenience themselves through whatever measures necessary to make filming a pleasant experience for crews and studios. California on the other hand continued to tax the hell out of productions because the state cannot get its financial house in order. Furthermore, most residents are so jaded that they see productions as a disruption and unpleasant intrusion. We are not awed by the spectacle of grips and rows of set equipment lining the sidewalk in front of the local convenience store as opposed to the attention it may receive in other parts of the country. Productions are not made very welcome around here. Who can blame them for fleeing?

And now the brainiac Los Angeles city council has voted 9-1 to approve an ordinance that would enforce existing state laws that require adult film actors to use condoms, while on the “clock” so to speak. Condoms are the ultimate buzzkill for sexual fantasy. And isn’t that what porn is?

It’s going to be interesting to see how in fact they do try to enforce it and who’s going to fund it, and all of the time and effort they’re going to spend,” said Steven Hirsch, co-founder and co-chairman of Los Angeles-based Vivid, one of the largest makers of erotic movies.
“Ultimately I think what they will find is people will just stop shooting in the city of Los Angeles,” added Hirsch. “That’s a given.”
His company, founded in 1984, would be among those that would consider leaving, he said.

Condoms on porn stars! What in the world sort of joke is this? This would be like Las Vegas deciding that instead of cash, all casinos will now deal in play money only. People (the porn fans) will not watch porn actors wearing condoms. If Los Angeles begins to require this nonsense, productions will move to regions where reality and common sense still reign so they can continue producing marketable traditional raw porn. This is what viewers demand and it’s what the buck will follow. Uptight skirts and suits populating civic buildings are incapable of understanding just how powerful and compelling the “cum shot” is in all porn. This measure’s next stop is Los Angeles King Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa’s desk where he will decide whether to approve it or not. Logic tells us this is the dumbest thing the city of Los Angeles can do for its economic health. A no-brainer, right? Uh, well, California urban public officials are more inclined to kowtow to politically correct purveyors of distorted reality than to the welfare of their constituents, so I predict Antonio will approve and before long, Los Angeles can begin kissing goodbye to another proven moneymaker.

Either that, or seed the new, burgeoning market for Condomed Porn.