Our character is like a cannonball.
Our adult persona, that full-grown persona we settle into as we inch into adulthood, undoubtedly began as a negligible kernel of existence when we were very young. The fuse was lit by the erratic impatience of our parent’s unsteady hands back when they were still young as well. Some parents stay young and unsteady; other parents just give up and don’t stick around to even light the fuse.
Our little, unformed and larval personality was but an inkling of a cannonball which was once tucked safely into the depths of the barrel, and as the dysfunctional burden of our parental heritage blossomed and ignited our life, the fuse, the cannonball was fired and our nature, once this point is reached, is nearly impossible to slow or alter in course. This is the trajectory which launches our personality with the positive or negative learned and inherited impetus of our childhood. The more time that passes, the less likely this inertia could be deflected by good intentions or meddlesome intervention.
I found this example of a trajectory that I fear may be too far along in its course to halt or even slow.
This photo was taken of a 13-year-old girl I haven’t seen for 5 years. I know the mother loosely.
The mother is a raging attention whore, the worst sort of female specimen. She is essentially soulless and possessed of the most manipulative, self-absorbed and heartless personality I’ve ever known. She is a femme fatale. I’ve learned quite a bit about her pictured daughter through her laments and glorified complaints about her premature shenanigans. The lady I speak of is a slut. Simple as that. She loves men, and during certain spells, women as well. I believe she was sexually abused as a child and all the attendant manifestations are in full effect. She is a mess. She’s one of those Alpha curvy chicks whose clothes always seem inappropriately tight and she always wears heels and dramatic make-up. She is one of those women who looks atrocious in her plain, unadorned state, but with make-up and whore clothes, guys go crazy for her not envisioning the sleeping beast that lurks beneath the pomp and circumstance, smoke and mirrors.
See, the trajectory is that this woman, though she appears to be on the downhill slope of sexual appeal, is still an unchecked emotional capricious train wreck. Her youth fades and now, stepping in to fulfill her lineage’s slutty and whorish genetic promise, is her daughter. The daughter, conspicuously blurred beyond recognition, tests the waters like all 13-year-olds do. I’m not going to sit here and condemn her for being 13. In fact, I’m not condemning the girl. She seems like a generally good kid but she is busy perfecting the precocious art of drama queenery and attention whorishness. She is a young girl at a turning point. A 13-year-old girl today is easy fodder for pop cultural iconic misbehaving role models. It’s in her nature to revel in such abandon and the parents are the first line of defense.
However, pair this adolescent aimlessness with, 1) no father figure (women like this have a tendency not to keep men around long enough to be useful), and 2) a full-grown slut/whore mother whose appraisal of character is only as strong as her own ability to attain such a level of honor, and the daughter is doomed to make the mistakes of her mother. The mother, in a final farewell to her dwindling youth and its associated sexual power, finds herself in a position to begin living her youth again through her daughter’s eyes. Rather than dissuading her daughter from donning that cheap, tarty, hysterical mask which seeks men’s attention as the sole cause for living, only subtly encourages and reinforces this behavior in her daughter by an unspoken measure of celebrating her adolescent exploration of this deviantly pre-whorish behavior implicitly through her actions or lack thereof.
Her daughter is of the age of testing new personalities for size and this is when she needs a strong dose of “oppositional” parenting. This is when her mom should counterbalance the vagaries of youth with undramatic and boring grown-up behavior. This is not the age to live her lost youth through her daughter.
But she is an old whore and she still gets bored easily.
The daughter’s trajectory has begun.