There is popular school of thought in the PUA/Game community, seguing into the “Alphasphere,” that men, in order to boost their Alpha factor and be more attractive to asshole-seeking chicks, must distinguish their insolence and aloofness. The thinking goes that men must be “act” distant and disinterested in outcomes and resist displays of tender or involved emotion. They must not care, or at least act like they don’t. The stress is on aloofness within the context of daily social and mating interactions because ultimately, this is what the PUA community is concerned with.
I agree with the putative aim of this assertion. Men who appear distant or removed from the brittle demands and foolishness of trivial girl games are less likely to fall prey to female manipulations and there is an aura of strength in this ability to withstand the capricious derailments of becoming too involved in such childish interactions or power plays. A man who is aloof is a man who is not concerned with what a woman thinks of him. Thus, his provocative disdain is magnified and women are generally powerless to such self-contained strength of character, or at least its apparent display.
I think PUA’s have it wrong. Wrong in the respect that the ploy they are teaching is so narrowly focused on the acquisition of women that they ultimately sell their power entirely to the woman. Perhaps if they simply admitted they are sissy boys who stop short of nothing in order to get laid, I might tend to sympathize and not believe so many of them are full of crap. Implicit in much of what they lecture is a fragile vanity that hinges entirely on how many notches they can carve into that bedpost, a figure or image which is flaunted shallowly in the same way someone might flaunt his Porsche in spiraling cries for attention. I don’t think such boys have a right to boast of their douchebaggery as “Alpha” or remotely masculine. They act aloof, they are not aloof. Aloof is a circular trait when enacted consciously. If you act aloof, you are consequently not aloof. To be truly aloof is to mindfully or naturally not be aware that you are being aloof.
Where the PUA’s and Gamers have it wrong is that they structure their existence around the single-minded goal of procuring and dazzling women. They distort their own personality in order to trigger female attraction buttons. To trigger…in other words, tools which are disingenuous and misleading and artificial. With the ultimate goal being to get laid. Most of these guys don’t care how they get into her bed, they just care that they do.
An Alpha MAN is aloof, yes; but he is not acting aloof and channeling it into petty selected scenarios. An Alpha man is aloof from women, from whores, from delicate social institutions. From everything. An Alpha man is aloof from himself. He is disinterested in impressing his own ego and consequently, in impressing anyone else. Only the man who can eschew the egotistical trappings of materialistic society can truly exert Alpha masculinity. A man who invests himself heavily in belongings and impressive materialistic accoutrements dilutes his masculinity. A man overly concerned with his impeccable appearance and tailored presentations has forsaken manhood. He may be rough and mean and kick ass, but he is not a classic Alpha
A Man is aloof of his own ego and does not humor it glibly.
If a man is committed to his possessions, he is committed to results and outcomes. He is not aloof.
Aloofness in its purest form accompanies alienation from society. As a man becomes wrapped within the layers of cultural expectations, he becomes involved and his manhood is diffused over the cash register.