Why I love my White Trash neighbors

I love my White Trash neighbors!

Actually, they are not neighbors in the traditional over-the-white-picket-fence manner of acquaintance…they are more like interlopers. The matriarch, who is a White Trash specimen herself, is my true neighbor but apparently her daughter, son-in-law and their 3 children must have found themselves economic casualties of our tanking economy so now they are all living in that small apartment. All 6 goddamn of them. Loud, they take up space with their bloated and overextended armada of cars, an RV, a cargo trucks and an SUV. They never turn the community light out in the morning and they always leave the door open. In a laughable gesture of SWPLness, my neighbor has a Japanese-style rule governing her home so she crafted a hand-written sign which hangs on her front door. “Leave your shoes outside” and sketched below are some pretty good composites of footwear. Talented in a White Trashy way.

I love my White Trash neighbors because they are like the only white people for miles around. You see, this neighborhood, this city, is like 98% Mexican. OK. Maybe an exaggeration but it seems that way. I’m Mexican and I would go crazy if I had to see Mexicans all day long, so I break it up by working in the predominantly white entertainment industry. I get my white fix for 9 hours, come home to the ocean of Brown that swims past my windows. And see, the white people I work with are the archetypal white folk who are assuredly not trash. They have delicate sensibilities and they eat the right thing, shop at the right places, watch the right entertainment. Everything about the white people I interact with during the day is right. Right! No sir, I could never live with beaners all day long. So it’s kind of cool that there are 6 white people nearby my apartment, composing about 90% of all white residents of the city of East Los Angeles. And here is the funny thing: if you’re white and you live in East L.A….you’re probably White Trash by definition. This is the unfortunate side effect of belonging to a cherished racial group…you must live a life others expect you to or you’re bascially slumming it. You’re trash, and you’re instantly suspect and elicit shameful disdain from the elites.

The mere existence of a phrase like “white trash” instantly insinuates that whites are inherently above trash as a group. By default, white’s are better. Thus the need to clarify when they are in fact trash. A white person living in my neighborhood is trash because they don’t see fit to do the proper thing and live on the Westside or even in Downey which is a nearby community that seems to have lots of White Trash and even not-so-trashy white people. So if you’re white and live in East L.A., you’re trash; if you’re one of the multitude of Mexicans, hey, you’re just Mexican, no need to clarify with the “trash” add-on. There is no “brown trash” quantifier. If you’re Mexican in this town, you are automatically trash and being that no Mexican can be thought of surpassing that by nature, they are assumed as a group to roundly fit the trash conditions. So you can stand me next to my White Trash neighbors and as such, we are essentially equals. They are underachieving for their race, and even though I am (I would think) over-achieving for mine, I still live in this shithole because it’s cheap and convenient for work and family.

White Trash is awesome because they help me realize that mediocrity and low standards can afflict any color. More intriguing than educated and high-achieving Blacks or Mexicans who manage to infiltrate Anglo society, are the unmotivated and utterly mediocre Anglos who manage to fall into the pit of black or brown inconsequential hell. White Trash is cool because they speak proper English with no accents and they don’t dress or act like apes, but in some cases, they do look like white apes. My neighbors sorta fit that. They have a physiognomy which is strikingly inhuman and thus goes a long way in explaining their inability to cross the cultural divide into the glittery world of white sensibilities where they belong.

They prefer to loiter here among the land of the brown folk in complacent innocuousness.

I love white trash.

  • E. Rekshun

    I was once the only Anglo in a 100% Hispanic neighborhood. In the early ’90s, I intentionally tooks a 1-year lease on a small one-bedroom apartment in the Little Havana section of Miami, solely for the purpose of improving my Spanish language ability; well, that and the low rent and the fact that it wasn’t far from my job. And it worked pretty well, and it wasn’t too unbearable either, other than the cramped and noisy conditions. And I met my Cuban fiancee out of the arrangement as well; though that ultimately did not work out.

    • Socially Extinct

      Anglo’s usually exist comfortably is Hispanic neighborhoods.

      I once had a friend, a White guy from Oklahoma, I believe. He was White as Wonder bread and for some reason, he lived in some projects in Boyle Heights, which back then, were about 98.7% Hispanic. We’d drop him off after a night of concerts, like 11 or midnight, and high-tail it outta there. He never had a problem, and in fact, got along quite well there.

      Thing is, if you live in a Hispanic neighborhood, you won’t have convenient access to a lot of SWPL entertainment or shopping. Dat shit stays away from the barrio. Won’t be finding any Peet’s Coffee or Panera’s in this neck of the woods!!

  • Ron

    Fuck all yall heitherns haten on us white trash people. We aint caused no trouble cept on our own damn property. Alls I wanna do in life is raise my kids to fear the Lord and shoot my guns at varmit rabbits gettin in em taters. I make my own damn liven and make good moonshine too. I dont care what you city slickers say bout white trash people you just better mind ye own business.

    • David

      White trash rules!!!! And white trash chicks are the least picky which is excellent for me as well.

  • Sam

    Brilliant!! I am white, but not white trash, however, I moved into my neighborhood before the “white trash” moved in. I always say I am racist against my own people, the “white trash” sector of the Caucasians!

    • David

      If I had to choose between trashes to have as neighbors, I would totally go for White trash. I think they are the friendliest!

  • D

    “We tend to magnify the negatives that we’ve witnessed directly”

    And let’s face it…it’s indeed the negatives that leave a lasting impression, not so much the positives.

    I’ve seen it all and trash is trash to me. I’ve met people who live in trailers, have dumb tattoos and are fat, watch Nascar, etc. and they’re the most polite and considerate people on the planet.

    OTOH I’ve met SEVERAL ‘yuppie’ types who live in trendy appartments and champion liberal causes who are incredibly loud, intoxicated constantly, always shacked up with some nasty girlfriend/boyfriend…white trash if I’ve ever seen it, yet they don’t get that label.

    I’m not one to rant against stereotypes, they’re usually true…but using average rural whites as the standard “White people are like that too!” argument gets old.

    • David

      Even though many of the unsavory traits we assign groups are generally class-driven, there are many cases where they are not. As you pointed out, some of the most disagreeable and despicable people are SWPL types, mostly because they have no idea how irritating and intrusive their existence is.

  • D

    I guess the standards are different there…to me there are rednecks, and then there is the fabled White Trash that all the redneck stereotypes are based on…

    So when I think “white trash” I think of someone who is fucked up all the time, grows cheap weed in the woods and hangs out in front of a gas station asking for cigarettes in leiu of a job. Someone who might actually cause a problem other than noise and some bud light bottles strewn about in other words.

    • David

      Yeah this is the risk when defining cultural stereotypes. We tend to magnify the negatives that we’ve witnessed directly. I suppose it could be argued white trashiness is a continuum ranging from loud kids all the way to murderous meth bakers.

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  • Anonymous

    I enjoyed this post. Really like the stuff on the socio-cultural(!) geography of where you live.

    Do you know their backstory? How do they feel about being the minority?

    • David

      Since I’m an asocial creep who hardly ever mingles, I really don’t know much about them other than what I can deduce from listening. One day the dude told me he was out of work. I’m curious about what goes through their mind, as well. I’m really curious about what drove the matriarch to settle down in this beautiful village! Misery loves company, but usually it prefers homogeneous company.

  • Hmm, I think I am the middle of your White Trash theories. I sure as hell am NOT one of the libertard Whites you work with. I mean, I do NOT eat the right thing. Hell, don’t even believe in that organic crap. Of course I do not watch the “right” entertainment. And we don’t have 18 relatives, twice removed, living with us. We do not own a trailer. I just do not know where I fit in to your stereotype of White people.

    • David

      I think it’s sort of like calling Hispanics or Blacks “ghetto” … usually it’s related to class, but ghetto is really a state of mind more than anything. I suspect White Trash is similar. You can live in a trailer park and not necessarily be “trash.” I would say your most stereotypical white trait is your Right Winged-nuttiness!!