Those damn THIN French women

You can tell what is afflicting a society, you know, really eating up inside, based on what it fixates on culturally to the point of sick obsession.

Western society’s current mass fixation (specifically in the U.S.) is weight. It’s all about weight and having less of it. Here in the land of the plenty, in the land of consumerism and gross consumption, we have one item that people want to shed, not accumulate. That’s saying a lot!

One only has to look at the preponderance of diet books, diet plans, surgical procedures, eating disorders, special foods, self-help groups…all geared toward battling the battle of the bulge. Worse yet, most of the people pawning this crap are shameless money-hungry bottom feeders.

The newest weight fixation seems to be French women. Why are French women so thin seems to be the new hysteria…they eat butter and wine and chocolate, how do they do it? bellow Americans from their self-imposed dietary helplessness. Strategically keeping in mind, of course, that obesity is purely a woman’s problem, isn’t it? We have no fat men in this country, no, not all!

In fact, type in ‘french women don’t get fat’ on Bing and look at what you get:

Aside from the odd (and very telling) placement of the BBW Singles ad at the top, most of the articles of the day are centered around a figure in the food circles by the name of Mireille Guiliano. Not really sure what her creds are…she seems to have worked or owned a company that pushed expensive French booze but then she saw fit to write a book about the subject near and dear to her heart, “French Women Don’t Get Fat: The Secret of Eating for Pleasure.” And like any other good modern foodie fad of the day, it has the obligatory website as well. And it’s even transcended the point of tastefulness now because Hollywood is involved for chrissakes.

In September 2008, Hilary Swank’s production company bought the film rights to French Women Don’t Get Fat; the plan is to make a romantic comedy with Mireille’s famous French lifestyle message. The script is being adapted and should be ready soon. Stay tuned!

A new fad, the foodie chick flick. How low can we go? We are giving Hometown Buffet restaurants a run for their money baby!

Is Ms. Guiliano a shameless scam artist?

Nah, I don’t think so. I believe she really enjoys and believes in what she’s doing. I think she brings up very good points which are inarguable and which most people will read and nod knowingly as if they knew this stuff all along…that is, before they proceed to eat another Ding Dong while plastered across the couch in front of a bad television reality show.

This common sense is very common, but we turn a convenient and gluttonous blind eye. Smaller portions, more activity. Geezus. No way. That’s the secret? It’s so boring and ordinary compared to the newest diet fad brimming with useless digestive bells and whistles.

I worked in a French Basque restaurant many moons ago. As a bartender no less. The owners were truly old country. They spoke their strange language, and though they weren’t technically French, they still had hard-core French sensibilities.

These people were in their 50’s and 60’s and were thin. But not emaciated.

What struck me? They seriously enjoyed food. They enjoyed their goddamned food man…you could actually watch their taste buds working joyfully as they ate slowly and deliberately. Food was important to them…but it was never bigger than life and they didn’t live for food (even though they owned a restaurant). And they had no need to gorge. The portions they brought to the bar to eat at lunch were small, way too small for the normal American super-sized palate.

It was the psychological mindset they brought to the table that separated them from Americans. What they expected from food and the role of the meal in their lives. That’s where Americans are way off the mark, and of course, repairing that just isn’t as sexy or exciting as some gimmicky diet plan that steals our attention for a day. Good ol’ emotional and mental renovations don’t have sex appeal. And this is why French women say thin and American people don’t.