The Secret Society of Stupid/Lazy People


It’s time to reveal a generally embarrassing (definitely not admirable) tidbit here. You know, most people, having a shit day at work, come home and vent their frustration/fury/murderous rage on their spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/pet (or in some cases, they beat one or all of the above to a bloody pulp). It reclaims sanity to be able to unleash all that morose and nasty shit that brews inside your soul after a supremely bad day.


I have no spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend/pet to lash. So I marry this blog for moments like this…


So yeah, this post has a personal motive, contains a private agenda made public, a sour distaste I must express openly in response to a really fucked up evening at work. It was the evening man, that’s when the shit hit the fan. I wish I could be more open and revealing, but contrary to the “About Me” section of my home page, I am not ready to divulge that deeply because essentially I am really a big pussy overly attached to a semblance of semi-security and intermingled with fashionable doses of consumerist rage. But, the point here is that I had a moderately shitty evening. Because of Stupid.


Stupid leaves me out to dry. Stupid kills me.


There are those of us who are not Stupid or Lazy. We think clearly, and we do shit right. Fuck yeah, that is presumptuous of me, but it’s true. There are those of us, the notoriously rare, that get it. We carry the weight of the sluggards on our shoulders and wallets. I’m reminded of the Secret Society essay that appears sporadically in the Pick-up Community. It is a rather elaborate description of the curious fact that very, very few men “get it” when it comes to women. And when you parse out “straight” men, their share shrinks even more. The men who truly get it are able to wield their rare society membership in amazing measures of pussy attainment that leaves non-society men puzzled and scratching their head.


There is also a secret society of smart, conscientious people. I’m not ashamed to admit I belong. I only know a handful of people who I can say belong as well. Those of us who are members have our shit together and we are meticulous and painstaking and we are preternaturally disposed to see the holistic environment and discern all the stage props in relation to each other and we can think Stuff through and we are not afraid to do it. We don’t ask for help until we’ve given it our all. We don’t mind getting off our ass.


For another trait of Stupid is Lazy.


I truly find this fact is borne out everyday I deal with countless new crops of morons, of all flavors, colors and stripes. Morons, stupid people, idiots, dumbshits…they are all lazy. Why is this!?


The stupid/lazy are the most likely to seek remedies for hard work and exertion.
They are most likely to display what little brilliance they genetically posses when it comes to weaseling out of work. Actually, I find it very puzzling that the stupid are also the most lazy. I would think the intelligentsia have every right to be lazy as the morons, but it’s not proportionately the case. Odd. It’s as if laziness plays itself out as a sort of “physical boredom” and boredom is nothing but a dim-minded inability to amuse and entertain oneself. The minute you hear your child repeatedly say they are bored, give it up. You got yourself a moron and they won’t amount to much. Oh wait. This is 21st Century America. Duh! Sorry, just because he’s dumb doesn’t mean he won’t amount to much…in fact, it might portend great success. You see, the stupid/lazy dynamic is alive and thriving in the work force and the secret society has actually usurped this culture; the work place is owned, masterminded and perpetuated by the Lazy/Stupid Society. The smart/conscientious dynamic is alienated and denigrated against the backdrop of our cultural and corporate existence. Those who do too much will be ridiculed and hounded into submission. Worse, they will be forced to lift the weight of those who can only carry much less.


The dumb and lazy speak a special language and I don’t know it.
They amble about their dimwitted path for the day, bolster and humor each other’s lagging intellect, for how can you challenge that which has no sense of challenge? Or no appreciation for challenge.


So here I conclude.


I began by elaborating on the Secret Society of Smart People.


And concluded, there is no such thing.
Only a Secret Society of Stupid/Lazy People. The Smart/Conscientious are the true morons. We are the ones who don’t get it but we can never get it because that insidious awareness will not let us not know or not care.



  • Eric Shun

    In society and in the workplace, the performance and behavior standards are set higher for unprotected class members. For example, at my workplace, my protected class coworkers only need to work at up to a level 3 (out of, say 10). So, as an unprotected class member , I only need to work at a level 5 to satisfy the boss. I have no problem with this disparity; I can easily work at level 5 w/ one hand tied behind my back. Working any harder would just beget resentment and more work. There’s no incentive or reward to work any harder than half effort.

  • Did you have your boss in mind when you wrote this?

    • David

      Oh, not at all. My boss is certainly an Officer…oops, strike that, a General I meant!!! But I had many, many people in mind.

  • Pingback: Linkage is Good for You: RIP Tura Satana Edition()

  • I somewhat disagree.
    I have long congratulated myself for my extreeme lazyness. Actively practicing this trait I purport to

    -get things done at once and only once. Doing same things twice or thrice doesn’t become a gentleman.

    -be an early bird. First minutes are decisive saving even hours later on the course of day. If one starts slightly earlier than others the people to object and throw obstacles and objections and delays are simply bypassed and they must just face the facts that already are there.

    • David

      I suspect, and actually, I believe, that is not laziness.
      I function the same way. If I dread doing a certain chore or task, I’m more likely to do it right away and get it over with so I can loaf afterwards. This is not lazy, it’s deferring pleasure until certain shit gets done. The lazy are incapable of even that!

      My dad told me of a Mexican writer (I need to ask him who and what) who said the reason Mexican people are such hard workers is because they want to finish so they can rest and kill time…an innate laziness expressed otherwise. I don’t buy it…laziness is only expressed as…laziness.

  • Dale

    The shortage of stupid energetic people might be due to leaders following Napoleon’s advice:
    Smart & lazy: Generals, they won’t waste the army’s time
    Smart & Energetic: Officers, they will inspire the men
    Stupid & Lazy: soldiers
    Stupid & Energetic : Has them shot

    • David

      Great dictum. Dat.

      In our considerably less “brutal” era of squeezed profit margins, the stupid & energetic roles are shipped overseas and those left behind become temps and freelancers, lending their work and skills while not receiving the regular benefits and perks of permanent employee-hood. It’s a win-win for the smart and lazy who should be eviscerated and dried out for dog jerky. Or at least castrated/spayed.

    • Not your mother

      Napoleon picked his Generals by the size of their noses

      • David

        Hmm. And how do you pick them???

        • Roberto

          Which one? Generals or noses?