East L.A. Makeover: Stage 5, the Laundry Room Closet, video intro

Last week I decided I would kick off Stage 5 of my illustrious East L.A. Makeover series. This project has stagnated, partly due to laziness, partly due to the distracting Holiday season.

Who am I kidding.

Mostly due to laziness. And a good dose of apathy.

So tonight, with the help of my trusty videographer, I recorded the videotaped “introduction” to Stage 5 (The Laundry Room Closet), a normal segment I record prior to the beginning of each stage.

It was late, the sun had disappeared behind gray, stormy clouds and the bulb in the laundry room blew out about 3 months ago. In other words, the lighting sucked, the laundry room closet is small and cramped and barely warrants any kind of videotaped notoriety, and I frankly didn’t know how to fill the dead vocal air.

Didn’t stop me from persisting, however.

As I reviewed the video priot to uploading it to YouTube, a horrible thought occurred to me:
I’ve subjected those who have been bold enough to read Phoenixism (or whatever it is you wish to call them) with some truly God-awful videos. Bad.

Terrible quality, terrible scripts. The grade school caliber of my videos would embarrass me if I had a normal human sense of shame. Only if

I find them amusing.
And bad.
Amusingly bad.

These videos, in their frightening abundance, cannot go unnoticed.

They cannot go unnoticed in the same way a dog carcass cannot go unnoticed after it’s laid in the second lane of the Santa Monica Freeway for 5 hours.

My video collection is prolific. Or something.
After I watched the video intro to Stage 5 tonight, there is no denying the fact. It doesn’t get any worse than this!

And this East L.A. Makeover. It’s become a great source of frustration and repressed goals.

I had great aspirations back in September. I wasn’t messing around man. I was going to turn this place upside down and transform it from hovel into sleek bachelor pad.

Mmm…OK, this is still happening.

But in the six or so months since I started, I have very little to show.

So now I have 3 concurrent stages in progress.

Stage 3, the Kitchen, start date of October 26, 2009.
Stage 4, the Dining Room, start date of December 5, 2009.
Stage 5, the Laundry Room Closet, start date, any minute now.

The pace of this project can best be described as “going nowhere fast.”

Also, in order to give my collection of videos their due, I am creating a production company which will lay claim to all their mediocrity under the guise of a professional production, a rather shameless and ironic move on my part.

Introducing Ch’ E-Z Productions.

Stage 5 intro, The Laundry Room Closet.
Enjoy (or at least act the part)!

3 Replies to “East L.A. Makeover: Stage 5, the Laundry Room Closet, video intro”

  1. Shawn, it is because East Los Angeles is a dump! BTW, who is doing the “filming” of the “transformation”? Oh, and Ed Hardy has ALWAYS been hateable. Back to you Shawn. I took a cross-country trip with my wife and realized how much the rest of the United States is normal. That the cost of living is nowhere near as ridiculous as here. But, we have great weather most of the time. Too humid in your part of the land. And trust me, after David drinks, blogs and passes out, not much more happens in the Hovel!

  2. Okay, A) Do NOT stick with the hovel, I don’t care what ^ says! B) That is DEFINITELY an Ed Hardy shirt, you are totally busted on that one. C) Sadly, I am willing to bet that in East LA, you pay more for that apartment than I pay on my mortgage for my 4 bedroom 2 story house with the 2 car attached garage, with a covered full length front porch and 12×40 deck on the back. The job market is picking up nicely in Louisville, dude. :-)

    Just sayin.

  3. This is truly depressing! Stick with the hovel, man! Besides, you do not need a bachelor pad for what you do alone. If you get my meaning :-) ! And are you wearing an Ed Hardy t-shirt?! WTF?! Talk about a sellout!

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