The master control that hides in my head; two of me.

A strange, perfectly explicable normal thing happened to me on Wednesday morning (spanning back to Tuesday night).

Now Tuesday night.

Not sure what I was thinking, because I’m usually 99.8% consistent and dependable when it comes to setting my alarm clock. Maybe i was distracted.

It was so long ago, I can’t remember. I was a wee young lad on Tuesday night. Whatever the case, I forgot to set my alarm clock for my usual wake-up time. Let’s call it 9am. Funny that I reveal just about every little stupid factoid here that would give most decent doxers all they need to take my tangled, insignificant reputation and thoroughly pound it into the crevices of my soul’s earthly fissures. And yet, I refrain from giving my true wake-up time (which assuredly is not 9 am).

The actual time is not important for the purposes of this post. So let’s call it 9 in the morning. This is the time my alarm is set for, and 998 times out of a thousand, I remember to set it the night before. That’s how I roll. I just do shit consistently, I’m very regular, I’m very punctual, and I make people sick with my exactitude.

Tuesday, though. A rare exception. Where was my head?

Whatever it was, it prevented me from setting my alarm clock. Of course, this was a subconscious lapse in habit, and I went to bed with my alarm clock holding its vestigial 9am beacon secretly in its tendrils with the implied order, owing to my forgetfulness, to “do not alert” on Wednesday morning.

I slept through most of the night, woke up to piss, crawled back into bed, careful not to look at my clock. Absolutely not. See, I’m a terrible sleeper and I go through spells where I’m plagued by insomnia. Sometimes it’s as if I don’t need more than 5 hours of sleep. If I look at the clock, I get psyched out and then really can’t sleep if the hour is too early. There is nothing as horrible as waking up and seeing that it’s only 1:30 in the morning.

So I crawled back into bed between Tuesday night and Wednesday morning, and somehow, did go back to sleep.

When suddenly, I was jarred from my sleep by the sound of my cell’s ringer tone. My phone never rings at such an ungodly hour, and if it does, I fucking jump. I’ve written here about phones and their foreboding legacy in my life. Phones simply don’t ring at odd times unless it’s bad news. This is a fact of life, a law of nature. So I jumped when I heard the phone…only to realize I had been asleep, and the noise was just an auditory dream hallucination. Damn it!

I glanced at the clock and was relieved to see it was 8:55. I decided to get out of bed, but first I needed to turn my alarm clock off as it would go off in 5 minutes. Alas…there was nothing to turn off. This is when I first realized that I had not set it the night before, but ever so auspiciously, my dream state, realizing that the clock was not armed for my usual wake up time, decided to rouse me from sleep behind the subterfuge of an auditory dream which served as a proxy for an alarm clock.


OK. Maybe not that freaky.

Some people get off on dreams. Since dreams are surreal, we tend to fantasize them, endow them with way more predictive significance than they deserve.

Dreams are science, bitch. Dreams are an extension of our waking states. They are pure subconscious logic.

Many might be inclined to interpret my phone-ringing dream as a supernatural incident, but I don’t believe in magic.

Somewhere in the chain of events between Tuesday night’s failure to set my alarm clock and the moment I crawled back into bed after visiting the bathroom, my cerebral master control noted analytically that I had failed to do something I should do, would normally do.

When the conscious parcel of my personality did not comply, it kicked into rescue mode and communicated with me on a subconscious level since, at least in my case, my subconscious does not directly communicate with my conscious state.

This is amazing, slightly fearsome, but hardly magical.

My master control watches all. It is the overseer.

It watches me, lords over my life. It knows what I fail to do, notes it all, guides me, occasionally steps in to remedy that which my consciousness does not tidy up. It’s an awesome thing to behold.

And quite powerful, this master control. Big Brother cowers in my head.

Watching me now, typing. Are there two of me?

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  • not so random dude

    About once a year or so I dream I have to go back in the military for some unspecified reason. It’s not exactly a nightmare but it sure ain’t fun. They’re all a bunch of fucking kids now. Even the lifers. Talk about depressing. At least I get to wake up and realize it ain’t so.

    • Socially Extinct

      Hmm, does this annual dream coincide with a landmark date or period?

      • EXTREMELY random MAN

        I doubt it. It’s probably a lack of closure.

  • I once had a recurring dream, which I still occasionally have, come true.

    I sometimes have a nightmare where I find myself sitting at a desk, realizing, “Oh shit! I have an exam to write; I’d forgotten about it; I haven’t studied!”

    This did actually happen a year and a half ago; I had forgotten that our lectures had actually wrapped up, and that we were writing our exam during what would have been the last lecture, instead of during the exam period. I came into the classroom, wondered why everyone was so quiet, then the teacher handed me the exam, and I thought, “Oh shit! It’s finally actually happened! I forgot today was our exam!” Fortunately, it was an open-book, i.e. open-laptop, exam, and though I had temporarily forgotten about it, due to having other things to worry about more important (in other courses), at the time of the announcement of the open-book exam, I had thought, “No prob; I can find all the answers if I can’t remember them.” And so I did.

    Still, for a split second, my recurring nightmare had come true!

    And yeah, I sometimes still have the nightmare, lol. Then I remember I’m not a student any more, and wake up. :)

  • No, this has been a years-long recurring dream. Not always the same, but I think if it was some prophecy, it should have happened by now.

  • not so random dude

    Plane crash dreams are usually interpreted as the sense of looming failure. Maybe under that blustering exterior you’re a worry wart, Mark.

    On the other hand maybe you like the idea of people burning to death…

    • Socially Extinct

      That would be understandable.

  • Will, I’m not in the plane. I’m watching it crashing. But I suppose it could be the case it would be how I croak.

    • That winky meant I was kidding, Mark. :)

      Your dreams simply mean you’re morbidly fascinated by fatal vehicle crashes – like our host, SE. IOW, you’re more like him than you let on. ;)

  • I have a constant dream of seeing a big plane crash in person. Sometimes in a car. Sometimes walking. Sometimes like the planes going into the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. Sometimes flying low and crashing all over the place. Wonder what kind of physchobabble that means?! LOL!

    • It’s telling you how you will die, Mark. ;)

  • Some days, I feel like I’m just sleepwalking thru…

    Never mind; that’s a cliché. ;)

  • just a random dude

    “Watching me now, typing. Are there two of me? ”

    Practically speaking, yes. If you were able to do away with your subconscious would you (conscious you) be able to handle the job of running Davids life?

    • Socially Extinct

      I would lose my mind. I think our subconscious is the psychic pillow/filter that prevents us from interacting directly with the world.

      I think lower animals deal directly with the world. The subconscious is particularly human.

      • just a random dude

        Yeah I’ve come to rely on my subconscious functions. Sometimes I think they’re in better tune than my conscious functions.

  • My subconscious also alerts me to outside stimuli.

    I often dream I need to pee, but can’t find a washroom.

    Then I realize I’m dreaming, and wake up, to go take a piss.

    Funny dream: I once dreamt I was lying in bed (which I was), and that my room had cooled down too much, and that the fan was making me feel chilled (which, unbeknownst to me, I was); I sat up to turn off the fan, and kept pressing the off button, but the fan wouldn’t work. It then suddenly floated up into the air, and I thought, “Well, I guess I’d better ACTUALLY wake up, if I want to turn off the bloody fan, eh?”

    So then I did actually wake up, still felt chilled, and actually sat up, reached over, and turned off the fan, without the switch failing, and without the fan floating up into the air. ;)

    I sometimes get Charlie horses when I’m lying down. Once, while asleep, I dreamt it was night, and that I saw electricity sparking over water; I thought, that’s not safe. Then I thought, hey, my subconscious is trying to inform me of pain; guess I’d better wake up. I did so, to a ripping pain in my calf. I had to walk on it, painfully, to restore circulation, and kill the pain.

    The subconscious is a funny thing.

    • Socially Extinct

      Yes! When reality bleeds into your dream but it’s like your body, your master control, does not want to relinquish to waking, so it integrates environmental stimuli into the dreamscape. I’m amazed that the mind is able to do it so quickly and adeptly.

      I didn’t think of this phenomena…the influence real environment has on the dream world. Dreams are extensions of the real. I laugh when people try to interpret them as some kind of future-telling tool.

      • The makers of the movie Inception were well aware about how outside stimuli such as sounds can enter one’s dreams, which is why, as one of their ‘alarms’ for the lucid group dreams, they used an actual piece of recorded music, which the dreamers heard, and knew how much time in real life they had left to accomplish their tasks.

        (Of course, there were a lot of things about that movie that were less realistic, and some just silly, but overall, I thought it was well done.)

        • Socially Extinct

          I’ve never seen that movie! Hmmm…

          I had my first ever lucid dreaming moment (in a way) last week. I dreamed that I had pissed someone off really badly and in the dream, I felt bad, but I told myself that “this is only a dream, so it’ll be OK” and proceeded dreaming. That’s never happened to me before. I usually surrender to dreams and don’t consciously recognize them as they are unfolding.

          • Entertaining movie, certainly worth watching on Netflix…

            I don’t lucid dream very often, but occasionally I do. I’ve even had the odd wake-induced lucid dream, where I’ve stayed conscious while falling asleep, and have sometimes had a degree of control over such dreams; it usually only lasts briefly, though, and I end up waking up.

            Waking up from a lucid dream once, I paid close attention to how I awoke; I first became aware of my lower back touching the mattress on my bed; then my awareness of my real body rapidly radiated outwards until I could feel my fingertips and toes, and my head. It was as if my body was being reconstructed from the centre out, and I physically felt it happening. It was quite a rush! :)