The Needy, Non-Ironic, Ego archetype.

So there is this rather fat chick I have the misfortune of crossing regular paths with. She’s of the Dunhamian landwhale-XX variety. Hence, I have no problem calling her “fat,” as opposed to “obese,” which is much too forgiving a term due to its neutral and clinical description. This chick is fat, she’s loud, but rather than letting this devolve into an anti-fat dirge, I want to mention she is also something else that I detest in people: she is one of those people with needy, non-ironic, egos.

I suppose this ego type is most commonly seen in bloated female specimens, but it has been noted across the span of all humanity.

I detest this ego type.

The needy, non-ironic, ego type is characterized by sly, weakly subtle, expressions of boastfulness.

These people appear to be involved in an incessant, never-ending competition and battle with the world that takes place entirely in their heads. They are constantly immersed in a vigilant stance of appraisal of their environment, a quality which appears as nosiness and intrusiveness. These people live entirely outside their mind for they are always on the look out for the next opportunity by which to engorge their gluttonous egos. These people are typified by a self-directed blindness which is so severe that they do not seem to realize how transparent their neediness is to the outside observer. Their “slyness” is laughable for it is nothing of the sort. It is blatant and embarrassingly obvious, this egotistical yearning. Any battle, however trivial, they believe they have “won” in their heads becomes the stuff of legend as they recount it in subdued allusions of happenstance that really is their way of saying “look how fucking awesome I am” without owning this awesomeness. It may be because there is an implicit guilt they actually feel but, unable to recognize it, a trait further exacerbated by this maddening neediness, is photoshopped out of their putative extravagant personality and is manifested as a privatized grandstanding that others generally do not observe (except for hyper-observant dolts like me). Ultimately, it’s the “non-ironic” aspect of this clingy egotism that is their trademark, for their neediness is born of insecurity and laziness of spirit. Their needy, non-ironic ego is unable to refer to itself, for if allowed to do so, would result in such people having to glare clearly and honestly into their fragmented soul.