Anyone’s eyes but our own

I laugh whenever someone proclaims “Life just isn’t fair!” with such gravity and dourness that it appears they are imparting some great hidden wisdom. They act as if they are sharing a precious tidbit of astounding insight by telling us something we all know. Life just isn’t fair!

Hmm. No kidding, I want to say. I could have told you that in a much less self-righteous, dramatic manner. Tell me something I don’t know. In fact, I’d like to extend the thought a little. Sure, life isn’t fair. But you know what? It’s not unfair, either. Life is unforgivably neutral in its rewards system. It’s only because we have that self-absorbed drama queen attitude that colors our perception of absolute neutrality as “unfair” but in reality, it’s only because we perceive the world through our little smoke-filled eyes and our personal agenda distorts our expectations and visions. What we view as “just” is merely our tightly-held opinion about how things ought to be. Whereas life is best viewed from the plane of the X axis (neutrality), we are incapable, in our tunnel-minded egotism, to perceive absolute neutrality as a state we must gravitate toward. We elevate our field of perception inherently to match our expectations. In doing so, we land far, far away from the neutral plane which is where reality rests, impersonally dismissive of our ego’s needs. So we perceive life as “unfair” but it’s not because there is any unfairness involved. There is simply a lack of auspicious fortune elevating our existence into that level we feel is “fair” but which is really excessive when beheld impartially, meaning by anyone’s eyes but our own.

It’s not that life is unfair; it’s that our expectations of fair exceed the generosities of reality. “Fair” is a big word.

Fair is manifested on different levels and can either visit itself actively or impassively by its absence.

Rather than sit here and lament that life is unfair, I will sit here and lament that life is not as fair as I’d like it to be. There is a fine distinction. Everything that I’d expect from life is overtaxing to reality. Reality does not have the resources to meet my needs, or most people’s needs. Life is populated by people and their institutions and they are ill equipped to supply the tremendous amounts of “fair” needed to placate everyone’s expectations. Better to tone down our expectations and allow fair to come to us instead of vice versa.

I’m quite at peace with the fact that life is not as fair as I’d like it to be. It was a bitter realization that I faced long ago and I’ve had much time to accept and digest this unsavory fact. There are many people my age who still fight the notion and become embroiled in bitterness which draws everyone in their reality into a celestial-sized vortex of gravity. I can honestly recognize that my expectations of fairness are an illusion. The sooner you accept this, the sooner you can move on from the fallacies of modern life that burden our soul and stifle self-discovery and freedom. Despite my acceptance of this fact, of the lack of fairness, there is another aspect of Fair which I have trouble accepting. It is another face of unfairness which I shouldn’t care about for there is nothing I can do about it. It is truly beyond my control. But it bothers me so much.

I am infuriated by the fact that there are many people who do not deserve the amount of fairness life hands them. They do not deserve it!

If one aspect of unfairness is the Just being punished, this aspect I despise is of the Unjust being rewarded, which is an unfairness to the rest of us.
I hate it. Many of these people have nothing I would consider worthy of excessive fairness. They are lazy, stupid, ignorant, whatever…but still, copious amounts of Fair knock at their door. This is the type of unfairness I find difficult to swallow. If fairness is unequally dispersed, then all the fairness that I deserve is being handed to those who don’t deserve it.

This is presumptuous of me, isn’t it?
Perhaps life, in its infinite allocations of fairness, is busily rewarding in just amounts, guided by the cosmic yardstick of utter neutrality, but from my perspective, my ego tells me that their fairness should be mine.

But these people deserve nothing, not when I have nothing.

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  • Another thought about this is that it dovetails quite well into the whole political scene today.
    Those that favor Obamacare claim that it is not fair that the however many people are not insured. Hence, the government will come in and level the field. Those of us that have good, quality insurance coverage and health care have to give some of that up because of those that do not.
    All in the name of fairness.
    Some people have better paying jobs than others. Well that is not fair is it?
    Some people get to go to elite private schools. That is not fair.
    I can go on and on.
    And that is why this post is so cool.
    You and I are OK with our personel lot in life.

    • Amy

      I remember one time I felt unusually bitter and jealous of the “haves” was when I visited the prep school my then-boyfriend had attended for high school. Holy crap, the facilities, the programs, the college-level courses–so different from the shabby public school I attended–the teachers looked like they actually gave a damn, and the kids even appeared to be a relatively nerd-friendly crowd. I don’t think my boyfriend noticed, but at the time I felt unpleasantly bilious and peevish about some of the opportunities I’d missed out on. I’m not overly prone to envy, normally, so that caught me off guard.

  • Amy

    When in a snarky mood, I occasionally repeat this quote from The Princess Bride:
    “Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.”

    The unfairness of life stung me far more in my youth. But experience has ground down my expectations to where I’m less easily disappointed.

    Ha, I’m a ray of sunshine tonight!

    • Gay State Girl

      Look in your spam bin.

      • Amy

        Can’t blame the spam bin, it’s me. I had a rough few days. I tried to do too much too soon (it can take weeks to recover from pneumonia) and ran myself into the ground. Not at all happy with my feeble old carcass.

    • Your Lowness

      Politicians and CEO’s are selling us something. It’s brown/green, moist, warm and smells like grass and corn.

      • Amy

        And the Purveyors of Political Correctness would have us believe it’s possible to pick it up by the clean end.

        • Your Lowness

          LOL, indeed!!! And of course, if we hold our breath long enough, we can even like it :)

  • This is one of the best posts you have written here!
    I share you righteous frustration about those that seem to skate by in life.
    But is it my fault? Or yours? No.
    Some of our life is our own making. Some are just things out of our control.
    I accept that.
    I have a hard time accepting things unfair to the people I care about more than myself.
    There is a situation that is kind of sort of personel in my life right now that is not about me but someone really close to me. It is semi-life altering. And in my mind, it is not fair.
    Maybe it is a sign of “maturity” when it bothers me about an unfairness to others.

    • Your Lowness

      This is one of the best posts you have written here!

      Wow, lol. Dunno about that….must have tickled a nerve, eh?