Disney is like assholes.

Allow me to don a grouchy, curmudgeonly scowl. As I advance in years, this becomes an easier task and does not require great artificial exertion on my part.

Allow me.

And I’d like to ask: why the hell does every Disney POS movie now feel the absolute need, duty, to make a politically liberal statement about today’s society? Why can’t movies simply be…movies any more? Like the old days. Disney told us lame stories which we ate up because we, ourselves, were young and very lame. The stories stood on their own and made no reference to modern society’s unraveling structure, or at the very least, did not exude the illusion that the movie script was designed around hastening said unraveling. Or congratulating the deconstruction of traditional values and social formation.

Why does every Disney movie in 2018 need to make such grand, melodramatic statements about the social upheaval of archetypes which Walt Disney himself relished structuring his old fairy tales around?

Opinions are like assholes, they say, and Walt Disney Corporation, the media purveyor which seeks to brainwash all children with leftist tropes, assuredly is overflowing with assholes.

 

It is the first time the universe’s female leads have recognised each other’s existence.

Vanellope mocks Disney’s male chauvinism, asserting: “I’m a princess too.”

She eventually forms a feminist bond with the cohort of princesses, completed by Belle, Tiana, Aurora, Cinderella, Mulan, Anna, Rapunzel, Ariel, Pocahontas, Jasmine and Snow White.

“Do people assume all your problems got solved because a big, strong man showed up?” asks Rapunzel. “Yes! What is up with that?” Vanellope asks.

The pint-sized heroine expresses concern at the paranoid behaviour displayed by the group, who, scarred by decades of traumatic treatment, ask if she has ever been “kidnapped or enslaved”.

“Are you guys OK? Should I call the police?,” she asks, pointedly criticising Disney’s prior storylines.

The sequel follows the original Wreck-it Ralph – released in 2012 – and will again feature John C Reilly as the titular videogame character, with Sarah Silverman returning to voice wisecracking go-kart driver Vanellope von Schweetz.

 

Sarah Silverman. ’nuff said.

 

All the Disney cunts