Sometimes Darwin is too late.
Darwinian principles are generally steadfast and unforgiving; they are doled out with utilitarian precision and the stupid and unworthy find it’s not long before their undeserving lineage is purged from the gene pool, for everyone’s benefit, even those who can be considered untapped progeny for generations to come.
Kelvin Rafael Mejía, from the Dominican Republic, apparently did not pay heed to the many cautionary alerts young people hear before embarking on their fledgling drinking careers. Lesson 1: you never chug hard liquor (anything north of 80 proof) like you would a bottle of tepid Miller Lite. Miller Lite is a yellow, vaguely alcoholic gesture at booze but you can drink a 6-pack of the crap and barely have anything to show for it. A bottle of tequila, however, must be sipped, nursed; not guzzled. Tequila, vodka, gin, bourbon, all must be treated as potential toxins whose lethality is proportional to the rapidity with which each ounce is imbibed.
Mejia either did not heed such warnings, or his band of acquaintances never thought to impart such alcoholic wisdom.
The tragic incident happened earlier this week in the city La Romana, in eastern Dominican Republic, and it was all captured on video by a cell phone camera.
The young man, identified as Kelvin Rafael Mejía, is first seen on his feet drinking the tequila straight from a bottle. When he is done he is handed the cash prize on a bill at a time and a few seconds later he can barely stand anymore and needs to be assisted by two men on each side.
Shortly after he collapses and never regains consciousness — he was taken to a nearby clinic where he was declared death.
According to El Universal, the events unfolded after Mejia approached a table where a group of clients were betting money on how much tequila they could drink in a single gulp. He asked to join.
— Pao González (@PaolaG_B) February 28, 2017
Darwin triumphs again. The genetics of ignorance and moronic recklessness collide with the evolutionary border wall as Mejia’s last breath slips from his besotted mouth.
Or does Darwin indeed triumph? The putative aim of evolution is to bring such backwards familial lines to a graceful halt, thus preventing them from soiling the future unfolding of mankind.
But sometimes, Darwin is a little late to the show and one slips through.
The Little Mejia is alive and waiting to embark of a new round of genetic, self-destructive mayhem, just like papa.
According to local media, the man was a regular patron at the place and had recently become a father.