Archive for March, 2017

And I descended alone…

Tuesday, March 28th, 2017


And such is the way it is.


Awkward, uncomfortable, ill-at-ease, terrible conversation, all the wonderful things that define me, encapsulate me.


Such as I am. I am a banter failure. I do not comprehend the nuance of small talk.  Or big talk.
Medium talk, medium-heavy, medium-small, I do it all equally badly. With some people I am worse than others, but ultimately, regardless of my non-audience, my skills of gab are downright tragic.


I can’t think of anything to say to people. Most people bore me and the tedium is so utterly asocially agonizing. I don’t like to waste my breath on words. Each word I say saps my soul of that much energy, of life. Too much talking leaves me spent and tattered and trying to formulate words in the absence of structure or cause is an absolutely horrid experienc.


Some people find amusement, commiseration, identity, in the act of talking. There is a sating of the soul that happens when they flap their gums and ping pong meaningless repetitions ad nauseam. It took me a long time to realize that most people talk not to convey meaning or experience or wisdom, but to fulfill an inner void that can only be soothed, or at least glossed over, with words, words, words, and lots of words.


I was built the opposite of this. My blueprint is a negative version of most normal people. Words deplete my force, they destroy my life, they gut my soul. Words exhaust me and most subjects are simply not interesting enough to hear.


The worst thing is that no matter how you try, talking never comes easy.   Never.  The worst situation for a person such as I is that where I am trapped in a situation with one other person while I try erratically to overcome the uneasy, uncomfortable and grueling silence that descends over us. I frequently say stupid, vapid shit which is my sad, vain attempt at small talk and everybody involved now feels direly uncomfortable after I opened my mouth. Soon your awkwardness tags along after you like a hungry, visible stench and affixed so, makes others uncomfortable merely by your mute presence.


People may avoid you or walk away as soon as you appear.


Your lack of social grace is as striking as if you hadn’t wiped your ass in a week. With the same ramifications.


And sometimes, when you are afflicted with my…affliction, you find yourself in a downward elevator.


The doors open and close so slowly here.
You are waiting for the elevator to descend and the doors begin to finally slide shut but they are so slow that one of the girls on the floor runs to the elevator because she can make it before the doors close.  Cause they close so slow-ly.
She is far away but she will have no trouble reaching the doors in time…
You are standing in the back of the elevator, out of the line of sight.  Shrinking away, like always.
As she makes her way toward the elevator’s opening, catching the next ride downbound, she captures sight of you.
And with normal people inhabiting the downward bound vehicle, she would continue running to the elevator and laughing and levity would ensue, jokes about elevator rides and racing the closing doors, yada yada, all the same tired bullshit platitudes that people can possibly stuff into one stinking elevator carriage.
A script, she would have entered a script like a superhero, the door open.  Comedy would ensue.

But  I was in the elevator and the comedy ceased.  For my life is not a scripted comedy, there is no laugh track and there is no live audience.  She spied me soon enough to make an abrupt halt and turn.
She put the brakes on and stopped and quickly diverted her approach toward the elevator in favor of the stairwell.

She saw me.

And realized an elevator ride with me was not worth the grueling uneasiness when the physically laborious stairs awaited.

And I descended alone, again.



Is this TSA agent a perv or just being unreasonably thorough? (aka, never let lack of profiling expertise ruin a good pedo grope opp)

Monday, March 27th, 2017


Is this fastidiousness necessary when security clearing a 13-year-old (my guess) boy to board an airplane in the United States (Dallas)?


I don’t buy it.  This is excessive and sick.


It doesn’t hurt that the TSA agent looks like a pudgy, sour-smelling creeper.



The new global Polarization Paradigm plays out in the #RussiaProtests

Sunday, March 26th, 2017


The emerging polarization paradigm that will plague the global community for the foreseeable future is one that can best be summed up as “traditional values” versus “anti-corruption.”


1) In St. Petersburg, an unsanctioned opposition rally was held just next to another unconnected gathering of demonstrators who rallied for traditional values.

2) Moment anti-corruption #protest initiator #Navalny detained by police in #Moscow


Traditional values are objectivity incarnate, scientific ruthlessness, clinical sterility, pragmatic judgment.


Anti-corruption is capriciousness, subjective shades of gray, emotional superstitions, conjuring of the fantastical.


Traditional values are stoicism.


Anti-corruption is blue hair.











The God Emperor’s new clothes leave a failed impression at the Obamacare Ball. Now we await the “explosion.”

Sunday, March 26th, 2017


There is that cadre of Trump supporters who faithfully rally around his “failures” as redefined extensions of a masterful and omniscient psychological control of the narrative on his part.


3D chess, they call it.


Even in the throes of defeat, they persistently maintain that President Trump is the machination behind everything and that the latest setback is nothing but a strategic maneuver in his plan to attain supremacy/victory/control. In the latest instance of a “setback,” the Ryan/TrumpCare vs ObamaCare debacle (and it is that), some elements of this cadre has suggested that Trump planned the doomed Republican foray into an Obamacare replacement, including last week’s chaotic, failed splendor.  They believe it was part of a foreseen game of 3D chess initiated by Trump to rid the House Speaker role of Paul Ryan, and even more optimistically, to ultimately install a much more palatable, conservative replacement of Obamacare.


This cadre gives President Trump too much credit. While Trump certainly possesses masterful skills of manipulation and interpersonal prescience, I don’t believe the Obamacare battle displayed these mythical qualities. I suspect that players in the Republican party with the fiercest determination to bury  Obamacare were also the most impatient and forceful.  Ryan/Trumpcare did not deserve such an early day in court.  Barack Obama’s health care plan, fraught with intricacies and dystopian bureaucracy, did the Democratic mentality proud for its bottomless pit of convoluted regulation and governmental impositions under the guise of helping (crutching) the poor and the elderly. In a relatively short time, Obamacare has become entrenched in American’s entitlement paradigm and exterminating it from the landscape is no simple feat.  As such, any attempt to seriously tackle the formidable beast requires 1) Time, and 2) Ammunition. President Trump’s new administration, only 2 months old, has fostered neither.


Ryan/Trumpcare was a rushed, tepid vehicle prodded on by the juvenile rashness of various players in the GOP. One would assume that national politicians possess enough intelligence and maturity to comprehend the concept of “deferred reward,” but judging by the premature ejaculation their tepid offering represents, this was obviously not the case.


Whereas I don’t believe that our President molds reality (“God Emperor”), I do believe his greatest skill is the ability to manipulate existing reality into auspicious narratives for his cause.  This is the key strength of Donald Trump; I believe has that rare gift known as the ability to “make lemonade from life’s lemons” and when defeat arises, he instinctively launches into damage control mode and ingeniously initiates narratives (memes) which blur the sharp edges of ill fate and in fact, magically steer them in his favor. This modus operandi then reveals itself as an ingenious contortion of reality on Trump’s part that in reality, happened in reaction, not in anticipation. But when we view it from our backward-peering perspective, the illusion is that he molded reality when in fact all he did was to restructure our perceptions.


And let’s be frank. Ryan/Trumpcare is a steaming pile of shit and the “restructuring” and political cosmetic surgery required of President Trump to paint this in his administration’s favor will be a difficult, trying journey, indeed.


The failure of Ryan/Trumpcare is too vivid and magnified in the public mind right now. The Left (and its lackeys in the MSM) is starved for victory and entitlement gloating rights, any victory, and the downfall of the GOP’s health counteroffer presents a collective cranny where it can stick its smug erection.


That cranny is Ryan/Trumpcare and the MSM has unveiled all discovered adjectives of the English language in its hyperbolic reporting of Donald Trump’s “RESOUNDING DEFEAT.”


The Left has proven to be as ungracious in “victory” as it has been in defeat. Trump’s victory and Presidential offensive since January has created a vacuum that has eschewed all liberal cries for attention, but as his vulnerability is measured within the context of his first Presidential failure, the left has rushed in with a gleeful, raucous parade of obnoxious quasi-victory which ultimately doesn’t count for much, at least superficially. The problem is not Ryan/Trumpcare, but what its defeat implies for Trump’s short-term policy goals.


Now that the “God Emperor” has been revealed to be human, his detractors are likewise empowered to exert their strength and to rebuff the dictates of the leader.



It’s doubtful that President Trump, if he truly was God Emperor status, in charge of the vagaries of fate, would have traded the empowerment of his enemies and detractors, and the concomitant deferment of his other agendas, for the ultimate triumph (a crap shoot) of a conservative health plan. Simple logic and seasoned experience tells us that an incoming presidential administration, for the sake of perception of command in the public’s eye, should begin its reign with victories; a string of victories which, however minor they may be, still set the tone of irreproachable power and reign.


No incoming President wants to embark on his maiden term with a high-profile PR defeat buzzing in the public’s ears, for it endangers his peripheral agendas;  defeat, when you are untested and unproven, rankles on your prowess.  You slip down a few rungs which you need to laboriously scale to resume your starting point.  Meanwhile, you are one day, one month, closer to the next election.


All Trump can do now is react to this defeat and set a narrative in which innate GOP weakness is magically cast as a preordained strength.  The first step in his resuscitation plan addressing the health care fiasco was to imprint the “Obamacare exploding” imagery in our minds.


The God Emperor wore his new clothes to the Obamacare party, and it wasn’t pretty.





When old news reports attack and remind us that pizza was on our minds before it was known as pizza…

Sunday, March 26th, 2017


Our culture rapidly evolves in sync with technology. And in the wake of technology’s rapid, nearly exponential advances in the past decade (especially of the digital sort), aspects of social culture are rendered unrecognizable in a few years’ time.


For instance, the MSM once reported on “things which shall not be uttered” and which weren’t entirely favorable to Democrats and/or Hillary Clinton.


This, from 2013, when “pizza” was merely a thing we ate.