Californians be so self-important and self-absorbed.
There is a peculiar myopia to people who live in this sliver-shaped shithole that seems to lead many of them to assume the rest of the country thinks just like them.
Living here and thinking quite unlike other Californians, I feel especially privy to the workings of their despicable mindset. Californians, especially the coastal sort, are narrow-minded and ostentatious. The world revolves around their special brand of geographic solipsism.
It’s disgusting. This graphic showed up on a Californian’s wall earlier.
This map…it’s how Californians think, how they perceive reality and how they assume society should function.
Californians seem to be innately condescending and now they want to leave the United States, a movement called “Calexit” after the Brexit campaign earlier this year which led to Britain leaving the European Union.
I propose that California should be encouraged to persist in this delusion. The best thing that could happen to the United States is that this godforsaken outpost of humanity just leaves the rest of the country alone and allowed to wander aimlessly alone on its own self-important autonomous path. Of course, this affects me as I happen to live in this region. I even work in the entertainment industry; I would appear, on the surface, to embody the superficial descriptors of a coastal elite, but somewhere along the way, I went bad.
I hate coastal elites, I share nothing in common with them. On the left coast, as a Trump voter, you can’t speak much right now. The pall of disappointment, depression, antagonism that permeated the hallways at work this morning were oppressive. Only three people know my Presidential preference.
I propose that California, in full, does not leave the union.
Instead, I propose that the narrow blue panel that runs along the ocean be excised and banished to sea like a pus-driven abscess. Only then will America be cured of this lefty onus. I only ask for warning so I can flee the ship before it happens.