The Bling Ring through HBD-colored glasses

Good Lord, this is what it all comes down to now?

Privileged Children Acting Badly. We (speaking for myself) are idiots. We love this crap. We eat it up like slop, and contribute to the golden basket that turns sensationalist crap into shameless profit centers. Privileged children acting badly is so awesome because most of us, 1, were not privileged children, and if we were, 2, assuredly did not act badly.

One of the obligations of privilege in civilized society is maintaining the semblance of manners and…acting civilized. Perhaps a drunken or stoned snafu here and there, a fight, and mid-air meltdown requiring an immediate landing, but for the most part, no one gets hurt. Just stupid minor crap that means nothing once your moneyed caregiver forks over enough of the bank account to shut the matter up or to quell the paparazzi piranha feast. Once in a while, the privileged children just go off the deep end. Way off. And in the case of the “Bling Ring,” they absolutely lose touch with reality.

The ringleader, Rachel Lee, exerting her materialistic East Asian prowess, spawned this privileged crew which found its roots in Calabasas, California, an outlying exclusive suburb on the Western fringes of L.A. county where you can spy new Ferrari’s, Maserati’s and Lamborghini’s in dealerships near you. And if you want to slum, you will have no problem finding a plethora of BMW’s, Porsche’s or Lexus’. Calabasas is a fine fancy neighborhood where the pretentious and pretentious-striving display their glittery splendor. Rachel Lee, rundown, haggard, of pre-convict depressive appearance, was sentenced today to serve four years in the California State Prison system.

Lee, who has probably had better days than this photo, was named “Best Dressed” in her 2007 high school yearbook. She drove an Audi to school and was convicted of shoplifting from a Sephora store about 3 years ago. So very Asian of her. And not. What can we attribute her roughian habits to?

Her father was South Korean, her mother, North Korean. An odd conglomeration of mating parties. Koreans, as we know, offer the most exemplary work and educational ethics, but simultaneously, are the most excruciatingly materialistic ethnic American offshoot as well. Rachel Lee was no exception. She single-handedly molded and staffed her high shcool crime ring which ingeniously used publicly available photographs to case her celebrity victims. The bitch wanted it so badly, she started her own post-high school crime club. Some would be proud.

This shit reads like an HBD roster of ascending accomplishments and expectations.

Rachel Lee, the Asian mastermind, the brains and greed behind the local organization. Brains and greed which coalesce as such a unit of driven ambition never ends well. Parse the traits out and you either have a brain with no zeal, or a selfish bastard who can barely tie his shoes. Join the forces, however, and you have Rachel Lee. She wanted the finer things in Calabasian life.

Amusingly, Lee was expelled from Calabasas High School and was sent to Indian Hills, one of those slacker schools every school district must maintain. The ones where they send the pulp, the unfit, to serve out their remaining 4 years. Even illustrious and paradisiacal Calabasas has this kind of low level hell. This is where Rachel Lee was sent in defilement of her ethnic heritage.

Lee IQ: estimated, 125

While at bottom-dwelling Indian Hills, she met some other exclusive Indian Hills cast offs: Nick Prugo (who she probably fucked), Alexis Neiers, some pretty friend of Lee’s who liked getting wasted and lying, and Diana Tamayo, one of my people, for chrissakes. Tamayo was voted class President at Indian Hills (a dubious honor) and was an illegal immigrant. An illegal alien Who lived in Calabasas and drove a Lincoln Navigator. Fill in the blanks if you’d like…

This was her core group.

IQs: estimated, 110-125

The lower rung of this gutter society was staffed by the manual laborers, the ex-cons, the brown folk and the proles. These are the people Lee did not go to school with or live close to, except for one, possibly: Courtney Ames. Ames, in my opinion, is the missing link in this vast social cornucopia. She is the tie that bound Lee from her castaway Indian Hills position with the mainstream highfalutin society that those who managed to remain at Calabasas High School represented. But Ames also slummed. She worked a waitress gig which is where she met Lopez, the Hispanic low-leveled restaurant worker. She also dated Johnny Ajar, a prisoner’s name if I ever heard one, maybe because he was one! Ames was the link, the transmission route the killer virus traveled from Ape to Man.

IQs: estimated, 90-110

This operation subsisted on the brawn and balls of the Apes and the crazed materialistic Gusto of the Man.