Last week I decided I would kick off Stage 5 of my illustrious East L.A. Makeover series. This project has stagnated, partly due to laziness, partly due to the distracting Holiday season.
Who am I kidding.
Mostly due to laziness. And a good dose of apathy.
So tonight, with the help of my trusty videographer, I recorded the videotaped “introduction” to Stage 5 (The Laundry Room Closet), a normal segment I record prior to the beginning of each stage.
It was late, the sun had disappeared behind gray, stormy clouds and the bulb in the laundry room blew out about 3 months ago. In other words, the lighting sucked, the laundry room closet is small and cramped and barely warrants any kind of videotaped notoriety, and I frankly didn’t know how to fill the dead vocal air.
Didn’t stop me from persisting, however.
As I reviewed the video priot to uploading it to YouTube, a horrible thought occurred to me:
I’ve subjected those who have been bold enough to read Phoenixism (or whatever it is you wish to call them) with some truly God-awful videos. Bad.
Terrible quality, terrible scripts. The grade school caliber of my videos would embarrass me if I had a normal human sense of shame. Only if
I find them amusing.
These videos, in their frightening abundance, cannot go unnoticed.
They cannot go unnoticed in the same way a dog carcass cannot go unnoticed after it’s laid in the second lane of the Santa Monica Freeway for 5 hours.
My video collection is prolific. Or something.
After I watched the video intro to Stage 5 tonight, there is no denying the fact. It doesn’t get any worse than this!
And this East L.A. Makeover. It’s become a great source of frustration and repressed goals.
I had great aspirations back in September. I wasn’t messing around man. I was going to turn this place upside down and transform it from hovel into sleek bachelor pad.
Mmm…OK, this is still happening.
But in the six or so months since I started, I have very little to show.
So now I have 3 concurrent stages in progress.
Stage 3, the Kitchen, start date of October 26, 2009.
Stage 4, the Dining Room, start date of December 5, 2009.
Stage 5, the Laundry Room Closet, start date, any minute now.
The pace of this project can best be described as “going nowhere fast.”
Also, in order to give my collection of videos their due, I am creating a production company which will lay claim to all their mediocrity under the guise of a professional production, a rather shameless and ironic move on my part.
Introducing Ch’ E-Z Productions.
Stage 5 intro, The Laundry Room Closet.
Enjoy (or at least act the part)!