Archive for the ‘i d’own need no stinkeeng categorees’ Category

100 Senators beckoned to the White House to discuss North Korea…who gets the helicopter ride out?

Monday, April 24th, 2017


In a quirky twist, Donald Trump has invited all 100 United States Senators to the groovin’ White House to be briefed about North Korea on Wednesday.



Top Trump administration officials will hold a rare briefing on Wednesday at the White House for the entire U.S. Senate on the situation in North Korea.


All 100 senators have been asked to the White House for the briefing by Secretary of State Rex Tillerson, Secretary of Defense Jim Mattis, Director of National Intelligence Dan Coats and General Joseph Dunford, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, said White House spokesman Sean Spicer on Monday.


While administration officials routinely travel to Capitol Hill to address members of Congress on foreign policy matters, it is unusual for the entire Senate to go to the White House, and for all four of those officials to be involved.






I can’t help it. I’ve watched too many movies, dabbled in too much cloak and dagger, political villain type of lore, written and cinematic, and I can’t help but envision a scenario in which President Trump, having rounded up a prospective crop of suspects under the auspices of “company business,” uses the occasion’s entrapped convenience to selectively “detain” certain Senators who have been roundly insubordinate and socialist.


The event finally draws to a close.  President Trump thanks everyone for attending and bids them adieu for the evening.


Ninety-six party guests leave.


The camera pans to 4 empty cars sitting in the parking lot.






And in the next scene, high in the night sky, a military helicopter carries the other 4 Senators hastily to their ultimate destination.


The question: who would it be?


I have the misfortune of living in California and there are no shortage of choices in my backyard.  However, due to sheer despicable levels of intolerableness, Trump Helicopter Tours’ maiden flight should house none other than the horror from New York, Chuck himself.







Jeff Sessions is right: “nobody has a sense of humor any more.” He should have added: “…they only have snark.”

Monday, April 24th, 2017


Last week, Jeff Sessions had the misfortune of uttering a statement which fell on tone-deaf ears belonging to the online liberalentsia. I know what he meant; you know what he meant.  Most people know what he meant and we all understood the gist of his hyperbole. It was “trash talk” with the intention of making a broader implied point. It was the old-economy style of caustic observation, not entirely ironic or social media-ized snippet-friendly. But it was understandable and pointed, but lacking in that fashionably wry self-consciousness seen in abundance with today’s youth.



The controversy over Sessions’ description of Hawaii erupted on Tuesday. In an interview with the conservative radio host Mark Levin, the attorney general said: “I really am amazed that a judge sitting on an island in the Pacific can issue an order that stops the president of the United States from what appears to be clearly his statutory and constitutional power.”



Sessions spent most of the week defending his use of the “island in the Pacific” verbiage which was a throwaway observation making a greater point about the geographically isolated ruling by the Hawaiian judge, Kahala Watson, in regards to the security of the mainland United States which faces many challenges not of pressing urgency to the state of Hawaii.




Now, Jeff Sessions, while refusing to apologize for his words (utter props for that), goes one step further, and tells ABC, ““Nobody has a sense of humor any more. I wasn’t criticizing the judge or the island.”


He previously defended his statement to CNN: “I think it’s a fabulous place and had a granddaughter born there. But I got to tell you, it’s a point worth making that a single sitting judge out of 600, 700 district judges can issue an order stopping a presidential executive order that I believe is fully constitutional, designed to protect the United States of America from terrorist attacks.”


Get it?


Jeff Sessions is absolutely right.


Nobody has a sense of humor any more, they only have snark.


Snark is Liberal-ebonics and the old guard of the Republican party should begin considering this in order to prevent their relevant observations from getting washed away by the gratuitous incomprehensions of today’s snarky generation.



Chelsea and Donald, two peas in a Twitter pod, but at least he has an excuse…

Sunday, April 23rd, 2017


Isn’t she 37-years-old?


I expect more from Chelsea’s Twitter cred, but her online persona is turning out to be every bit as cringe-worthy as Donald Trump’s except for one vital difference:  he’s 70-years-old. Old people have very awkward online persona’s and habits. It’s expected of them. We humor the senior set as they fumble around clumsily on Facebook and Twitter, for they did not have the “good” fortune of being raised in the cyber-age where children learn all their written, language and social skills on iPads or smart phones.  Old people are granted some “slack” for this.


Chelsea though.  Following her on Twitter makes me grimace.


The horror, the horror.




OK, Chelsea, whatever you say…







According to Oxford University’s criteria, I’m a big ol’ racist.

Sunday, April 23rd, 2017


The sheer unrepentant lunacy of institutions of so-called “higher learning” continues unabated, and in fact, continues to pick up the steam of pure ludicrousness, as evidenced by new guidelines bequeathed by the go-gooders from Oxford University’s “Equality and Diversity Unit.” (If you can persist past that galling bureaucrat-ese that has gone into plopping such a departmental moniker out of the collective asshole of academia).



Students who avoid making eye contact with their peers could be guilty of racism, according to Oxford University’s latest guidance.


The university’s Equality and Diversity Unit has advised students that “not speaking directly to people” could be deemed a “racial microaggression” which can lead to “mental ill-health”.



I avoid eye contact when at all possible.  On the train, in hallways at work, at the supermarket; fuck eye contact. I don’t care for people, and I sure as hell don’t need to be looking at them if there is no pragmatic reason to do so.


I maintain my own private, Rock of Gibraltar frame in most public realms. It’s a conscious choice of misanthropic derision and has nothing to do with latent autism or racism. My refusal to look at people is a source of strength and power and general refutation of all that is normal and safe.  It is me.


But I never knew. I guess I should thank the obsequious denizens at Oxford for labeling my predicament.





Peak Chelsea.

Saturday, April 22nd, 2017


I knew the time was coming.  It couldn’t persist in a “sane” world. The Junior Wenchess, who has long grated on the nerves of those of us on the Right, has begun wearing on the Left’s welcome as well.


This mug. This smug Clintonian bullshit and that platitude-spewing trap.


Is it possible someone could possibly be more intolerable and abrasive to the psyches of reasonable men everywhere than Hillary herself?


Turns out, it is possible;  and only possible from the spawn of the demoness herself.





How much of Chelsea will we be expected to endure?


Thankfully her Grand Canyon-sized piehole appears to be wearing thin on many people, including Vanity Fair’s T.A. Hank.


He writes:


Amid investigations into Russian election interference, perhaps we ought to consider whether the Kremlin, to hurt Democrats, helped put Chelsea Clinton on the cover of Variety. Or maybe superstition explains it. Like tribesmen laying out a sacrifice to placate King Kong, news outlets continue to make offerings to the Clinton gods. In The New York Times alone, Chelsea has starred in multiple features over the past few months: for her tweeting (it’s become “feisty”), for her upcoming book (to be titled She Persisted), and her reading habits (she says she has an “embarrassingly large” collection of books on her Kindle). With Chelsea’s 2015 book, It’s Your World, now out in paperback, the puff pieces in other outlets—Elle, People, etc.—are too numerous to count.



The crude conventional wisdom is that Bill Clinton craved adoration and Hillary Clinton craved power. But Chelsea Clinton seems to have a more crippling want: fashionability—of the sort embraced by philanthropic high society.



But let’s have a reality check. No one bothers George W. Bush’s daughter, Barbara Bush, who quietly works on her nonprofit, Global Health Corps. On the other hand, if you’re posing for magazine covers, granting interviews, doing book tours, placing your name on your parents’ multi-million-dollar foundation, and tweeting out daily to 1.6 million people, then—guess what—you’re a public figure. And if you’ve openly entertained the possibility of running for office if “it was something I felt called to do,” then assurances to the contrary aren’t quite good enough. You’re a public hazard.



Just when you thought perhaps the dark gaping yaw that portends yet more rampant Cult of Chelsea chanting from the mindless legions has finally closed up, there is always more.  Much more.


But perhaps reason is beginning to settle in and Chelsea’s spell is waning…


Now there is some hope I can get behind.