Buzzfeed is for popular, good-looking normies.

They actually, smugly, presented this “problem” to the internet tonight.

Can You Get Laid Tonight?

It’s not really can, but how and who and what, slight exertion of effort it will take on your part.

In the Buzzfeed world, the sex prequel is all taken care of, like a steamy, shitty television show or IMAX movie. The rest is detailsl

Because we all look exactly like this.

Because we all look exactly like this.

But for a lot of us, details are the lifeblood of our demise.

We don’t all get invited to “bangin'” or “hottie” parties.
Sorry Buzzfeed. You’re the cheerleaders and the class “leaders.”
I was hanging out in the back building that overlooked the side streets. That was how I rolled.

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Ladies and gentlemen, introducing the next President of the United States.

“We stoop so low, to reach so high”
from Red Hill Mining Town by U2

Introducing the man who always says what he means (until he backtracks after evoking the customary furor of the day).

No, I was not aiming to evoke a fuhrer homonym, although…that is a cool aftereffect.

A primal scream of our times.

It is the scream we let out when the reality of our terrible situation becomes clear to our eyes. We must stoop so low in order to finally be free and burst through the layers of elitist American pummeling. How long have we endured such a cement-like solidified foundation of political neglect and disinterest? The rich get richer and liberaler.

Those who are most vocally adamant in their support for Donald Trump are those with the least to lose.

Our times. They become interesting.

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Who cares what Donald Trump saw on 9/11? Another masterful conversational dead-end. “Distractional” dialogue.

Does it matter what Donald Trump saw on 9/11?

Whether he saw people jumping, or if he saw Arabs celebrating, or if his saw his sodden mug in the mirror: it’s all the same inconsequential filler.

This reminds me of Sarah Palin’s alleged boast, during her 2008 Presidential run, that she could see Russia from her porch (a Democratic misstatement, BTW).

In Palin’s case, her ramblings were misconstrued and misrepresented for she never said the exact words that followed her for much of the campaign.

In Trump’s case, he said what he said, and he’s using typically far-fetched apocryphal events to start small dialogue fires that attract attention, which in his case, is all he asks.

I call this ploy that Donald Trump uses, “distractional dialogue.”

He states some utter ridiculous garbage, trivial crap really, and people get riled up and take their eyes off the ball. Small fires of pointless discussion turn into vast conflagrations of debate, and while everyone yells at each other whether it’s possible to see people jumping to their deaths from four miles away, Donald Trump is smirking and having the last laugh.

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The ultimate life conservation.

Please don’t judge me for being a regular reader of Buzzfeed.

It’s like the old days when Playboy still printed nudes. I really enjoyed the articles and short stories and no matter how much I tried (in fact, the more I tried) to explain this, the more persistently people nodded smugly. Same with Buzzfeed.

I enjoy its lists and photos…

Its smarmy, lefty, socially-conscious politics…not so much.. Buzzfeed has no middle ground. Everyone there is some faceless coastal egalitarian elite who believes the world is a nice, warm, cozy place, pajama suits and all.

Buzzfeed is in my news aggregator and occasionally a headline catches my eye. As I said, they do have good lists, a lot of them dealing with introversion, skinniness, shortness; BS I can call my own.

Earlier, I saw this:


I had to start reading it, of course, but before I finished the first bullet point, I was struck by something.

Fuck this!

Of course, college sucks the life out of you. Duh!

But you know what? Everything sucks the life out of you!

“Living” sucks the life out of you. Every single miserable day spent walking this planet, dealing with all the rude, smelly, disgusting, loud, vile, vulgar cretins that call themselves “humanity” sucks the life out of you.

My office mate at work sucks the life out of me. Loud, annoying, incessantly obnoxious, anxious people, everywhere. On the train today. This Hispanic dude sat down across the way. He slammed his backpack on the seat, water, disinfectant, coffee, just a busy goddamned display of everything, smart phone included. He could not sit still for a minute. He wore sunglasses, then lifted them above his hairline and he kept fidgeting, looking up and down the aisle, checking something out, looking, shifting, looking in my direction. I don’t look at anyone, ever, especially on public transportation. I listen to my music, and if I’m reading something interesting, I read (right now, I’m reading something that hasn’t absorbed my interest, so I’m not reading much), I just sit like a rock. I recognize no one, react to no one, I am a total autist on that fucking train. But homey this morning would not stop moving and it pissed the fuck out of me.

He drained my life. Exponentially so. I aged at least 3 hours in 45 minutes

Everything sucks the life out of you. College, family, work, freeways, train riders, loud children, nervous people, Donald Trump, traffic jams, anal people, Asian drivers, Black kids with pants below their hips, White people in Crocs, everyone.

Give me a nice, uninhabited clearing in a forest.

Ultimate life conservation!

Posted in i d'own need no stinkeeng categorees

Donald Trump is such a self-involved dork (LOLZ)

Sorry Donny, but not all your supporters are barely-legal cum-stained underwear-wearing Gen Z’ers.

I remember the turn of the century quite well. You know what? Y2K and all that ridiculousness.

A lot of people knew Osama bin Laden was trouble. You weren’t (and aren’t) that special.

Keep your future constituents in mind. We’re not that gullible.
Win us with facts, not bullshit. And you’re full of bullshit. Let’s see what else you got.

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